147. Why Am I Having Sexual Dreams?

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Welcome to episode #147! This week, Matt and Braden talk about having sexual dreams, and what they may or may not indicate.

Dreams may or may not indicate something deeper
 First things first, dreams are not a sin issue because we aren't actively choosing to dream about sex nor do we have control. However, dreams may reveal something that is going on in our life. When we are battling a porn addiction, our subconscious can be affected by what we do when we are awake. If we are watching porn, or are involved in sexual fantasy, our mind may regurgitate what we are taking in. But as we move towards sobriety, and as our minds are re-wired in a healing journey, our dreams will reflect that change. All that said, sometimes our dreams are not linked to anything specific and we shouldn't over analyze them and assume it means we have some uncovered dirt in our lives. However, we can invite God into our dreams and pray over them, which helps us view them in a proper light to make better decisions if they do trigger us or tempt us to masturbate or go back to looking at porn.

What is the source?
Our dreams may come from what we are taking in while we are awake, they may come from our flesh (sin nature), they may come from the enemy, or they may come from God. They also may have no link to any one thing, but are just part of our subconscious. That said, it is worth praying and asking God about our dreams and what they may be linked to. Sometimes we do have past hurt or trauma that God wants to work on in us, and our dreams may stem out of that past. But even if that isn't the case, God cares about all aspects of our life and when we ask him to work in our dreams, He will help us! 

Control what you can
It can be frustrating when we feel like we don't have control, and that is no different with our dreams. When we are consistently dreaming about sex or our dreams have a sexual nature to them, we can feel defeated and triggered at the same time. While we cant control what we dream about, we do have choice while we are awake. Part of how we can have agency with our dreams is choosing how we go to bed and how we wake up. Spend the time before bed in prayer, listening to worship music, or reading the Bible. Avoid browsing social media and try to spend 30 minutes before bed away from screens. This will help with our sleep patterns, but it will also diffuse any adrenaline or heightened stimuli that may trigger sexual memory or links to porn use. While building these habits isn't easy, don't beat yourself up, but instead ask God for his help and utilize your accountability to help in this!

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Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 13 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.