Impossible Moments

What do you do when there are no moves left?

In "Impossible Moments" Figs and Karen discuss a moment every couple will experience throughout their relationship—being so reactive and so hurt they are simply unable to move forward.

This can show up as a conflict in the course of a normal day, such as Figs and Teale experienced in the example Figs shared, or it can show up when two people are very close to ending things, as was the case with Karen's clients.

Figs explains that because couples are experiencing emotional bonding trauma very deeply in those moments, if a therapist can hold them in their feelings of abandonment or rejection, they will reach for each other from that place of vulnerability and be able to have a transformational experience.

Figs and Karen also discuss the value of "meta-processing" for integrating moments of healing in a couple's relationship—for impossible moments, and in relation to the last Relationship Experts episode with Teale.

Couples Therapy Works is a new series from the Come Here To Me team delving into the complex work of couples therapy from the ground up. Each episode will feature one or more of Empathi’s own counselors as they examine the truths and challenges of relationship repair.

To submit a question for Figs and Karen to answer, email figs@empathi.com or leave a comment on YouTube, Instagram, or Apple Podcasts.

If you or someone you love are struggling in your relationship, visit empathi.com for the relationship quiz, courses, and therapy consultations.