7 Signs You Might Have an Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style

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Today we will be looking at some of the common presentations of an anxious-preoccupied/ambivalent attachment style. A person with this insecure attachment style is generally very concerned with wanting to be completely emotionally intimate with others and finding that others are never quite as willing to get as close as desired.  There is a very strong expectation as well as a fear of rejection or abandonment by others. With this attachment style there is often a lot of protest behaviour with a ready expression of feelings. Anxious-preoccupied people tend to be in the maximiser and pursuer role. The focus is on the other person as source of soothing and a safe haven to regulate oneself.  However, this desire is frequently not quite satisfied, leaving the anxious-preoccupied person chronically disappointed, angry or frustrated.  A person with this attachment frequently worries that others don't value them as much as they value others. 

The seven signs that we will be looking at in our podcast episode include a tendency to

- exaggerate emotions,
- be 'other' focused,
- be highly dependent on others,
- have porous self-boundaries,
- act submissively and at times manipulatively,
- move between aggressiveness and passivity.

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Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.