259: Journey Through Infertility and Having a Gestational Carrier with Lizzie Smith

We know that family building can happen in many different ways. Today’s show highlights one of the most harshly judged routes to having a child. Let’s take an insightful look at the beautiful process of surrogacy, also known as gestational surrogacy. This family-building option can be something that brings out the best in us as humans! Join us for the conversation!

Today’s personal story comes from Lizzie Smith, a 40-year-old school administrator who is the mother of 17-month-old James. She and her husband went through almost a decade of infertility before their miracle baby boy was born. Lizzie explains surrogacy to us, along with why people might need a gestational carrier. She also shares common misconceptions about surrogacy and why there is such judgment around this topic, which prompts many rude and hurtful comments from others. 

Show Highlights:

• A look at Lizzie’s journey: trying to get pregnant, having tests done, seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, and going through the long process of four failed IVF transfers
• Why they considered surrogacy after the fourth failed IVF attempt–and felt hopeful for the first time in years
• How the long process of surrogacy began in 2018 with an agency and Lizzie and her husband, the intended parents (IPs)
• Why it’s a long and difficult process to choose a surrogate, a person with whom you are choosing a unique relationship
• How going through the surrogacy process during COVID added another layer of difficulty
• How the surrogacy process began for Lizzie with multiple tests and medical clearance for their chosen surrogate–with many opportunities for roadblocks along the way
• How their embryo transfer took place in late 2020 after all the contracts and legal documents were signed
• How the pregnancy progressed with Lizzie and her surrogate texting and communicating almost daily
• How Lizzie and her husband were able to be present at the birth because COVID had calmed down 
• How Lizzie’s relationship with her surrogate continues today
• How the surrogacy process brought unique challenges for Lizzie
• How years of frustrating infertility brought many negative feelings to Lizzie about her “broken body”
• How Lizzie dealt with the comments and opinions from others about her surrogacy choice–and felt pressure to “prove” herself as a person worthy of parenthood
• Common misconceptions about surrogacy and the reasons people choose this option
• Why support is important to intended parents going through surrogacy
• What Lizzie wants people to know and understand about surrogacy

Resources:

Visit www.postpartum.net for resources! I’d love to hear from you!

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices