Four things you might not realise are coercive control and the questions to ask yourself to see if it might be happening to you.

Trigger Warning: This podcast discusses coercive control and domestic violence.

You may have heard that DV is not just physical abuse. Just because they don’t hit you doesn’t mean you are not experiencing domestic or family violence.

In this episode we will talk about four things that you might not realise are DV that are flying under your radar.

We discuss coercive control and where you should go for support if you are experiencing this. We also explore the questions you need to ask yourself to find out if you might be experiencing some types of non physical forms of domestic violence or coercive control. 

Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone’s situation is different. 

If this information is distressing for you or if you need support in regard to sexual assault, domestic or family violence you can call 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 for 24/7 phone and online services. If you, a child, or another person is in immediate danger, call 000. 

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Books mentioned

Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior...and Feel Great Again  Aaron T. Beck ,  Jeffrey E. Young ,  Janet S. Klosko

Podcast Episodes that are related to this topic

Family Domestic Violence and How it impacts your case

Family Violence

Coercive Control in divorce and after separation

Coercive Control: how to help yourself or a friend

Stalking and Coercive Control

You Don’t Want to Miss Out On

• What are examples of non-physical forms of domestic violence?

• What types of silent treatment are considered a part of coercive control?

• What is the cycle of abuse?

• Why some unspoken rules with your partner could be domestic violence.

• What's wrong with hiding things from your family and friends that you were embarrassed about in your relationship.

• Control of money and what might be domestic violence.

• Tracking your expenses and giving you rules on how to spend it. 

• Are there different rules for your partner with the joint money?

• Money rules, what isn’t ok. 

• Who owns the money in a marriage?

• Questions to ask yourself to see if you are being financially controlled.

• Are you budgeting or is it financial control?

• Financial control what it might look like in your relationship?

• The difference between privacy and financial control.

• If they earn the money do you get a say in how it is spent?

• Love bombing and what happens after

• Narcissists and love bombing.

• Are they checking in on you all the time for love or for control?

• What happens when you go from a toxic coercive control relationship to a healthy relationship?

• Why seeing a psychologist can help you not fall back into the same pattern. 

• When the ex re partners

• When you repartner too early. 

• Moving yourself away from the same patterns 

• Why patterns of these behaviours make you lose your identity.

• How coercive control is a pattern

• How the courts are becoming more aware of it

• What you can do if this is happening to you

• Do you need to tell your lawyer if you suspect you have been under a coercive control relationship

• How confiding in a friend can help. 

• What type of friend you should consider telling about coercive control or domestic violence in your relationship?

• Defamation and how to be sure you don’t get in trouble with this. 

• Why you should start safely writing the abuse down so you can remind yourself later.

If you need emergency help you can also contact:

• WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE 

• LEGAL AID

• Lifeline 13 11 14

• Mensline Australia 1300 789 978

• Kids Help Line 1800 551 800

• Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123

• Relationships Australia 

• Police on 000

• DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill

• DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636

• National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732

Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you’ve found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you. 

Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone’s situation is different.