150. Cole and Caitlin Zick: Are You Settling For Less Than God's Best?

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Welcome to episode #150! This week, Matt and Braden talks to the directors of Moral Revolution, Cole and Caitlyn Zick.

Science is catching up with the Bible
Numerous neurotransmitters are released when we have sex and there's a powerful reason for this effect. God designed us so that we would feel connected in every way with the person we are sleeping with. The problem is that when we have sexual encounters with various people, the attachment isn't unique to any one person, which subconsciously trains us for divorce. Sexual relationships are never supposed to end and the science in our bodies verifies that, but when we have multiple sexual partners, we feel less and less of a draw to stay with the individual person we're with because of the intimacy we've shared with multiple people.

Masturbation & co-habitation get in the way of God's best for you
Both masturbation and co-habitation get in the way of God's best for you. Co-habitation is rooted in fear, not in safety. We are scared of our partner leaving us so we don't get married in case our fear comes true. The safest relationship you can have is one where you know there is no escape plan. When conflict arises, you don't have to wonder if the relationship will end. The commitment to each other is already decided so you can move forward in confidently and lovingly resolving conflict.

Masturbation is selfish in nature, since it's you pleasuring you. It gets in the way of God's best sex for you when you train yourself to receive pleasure by your hand rather than waiting for you spouse. It takes away from the intimacy you can have with your spouse and with God.

Cole and Caitlyn have suffered
Although they now travel the world speaking about sex, Cole and Caitlyn have had their own battles with sex to work through. Caitlyn had trauma from various sexual encounters as a teenager, which led to years of counselling and hesitancy in receiving Cole's physical affection as a sign of love.

After years of selfish, transactional sex in the midst of undealt-with trauma, they put the work in to do years of therapy and healing. After 11 years of marriage, Caitlyn finally started enjoying sex for the first time. Now, they are advocates that connection leads to the best sex and that within marriage, your sex life can be rockin'.

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Resources
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FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

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Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 13 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.