61. Julia Samuel on grief, post traumatic growth and dealing with our dark side

In one of our most valuable crisis conversations yet, we’re joined by one of the world’s best psychotherapists – author and fellow podcaster, Julia Samuel – and in this episode we focus on possibly the most important theme that has come out of our conversations so far. 
That is grief. How we approach it, how we accept it and how we then move forward productively.
In the sixty episodes we’ve recorded so far, we’ve had some incredible discussions with our guests on this subject - and so today we look back on some of those conversations with a real expert; someone who can help us navigate our way through this most difficult of crisis subjects.
Julia has been helping people through loss and a range of other issues for more than thirty years. Her first counselling job was as a volunteer for Westminster Bereavement Services - where Julia found herself stepping into the homes (and indeed the lives) of people whose children had died under some of the most challenging of circumstances. It was clear early on that Julia had found her vocation. Ever since Julia has worked both in private practice and in the NHS, at London’s St Mary’s Hospital, where she pioneered the role of Maternity and Paediatric Psychotherapist.
In 1994 Julia helped launch Child Bereavement UK, and as Founder Patron she continues to play a role in that brilliant charity today. Moreover, she has written a number of successful books including Grief Works, This Too Shall Pass and Every Family Has a Story, and she also hosts the successful podcast Therapy Works - which I could not recommend more.
A huge thanks to the guests we discuss in this episode – for sharing their stories, but also to Julia for taking the time to help us take stock.

You can find the full episode transcript at: https://www.crisiswhatcrisis.com/podcasts/julia-samuel-on-facing-loss-managing-grief-and-finding-joy-again/

Topics covered:
– Grief
– Acceptance
– PTSD
– Good death vs bad death

Julia’s Crisis Comforts:

1. Recognise that you are suffering. Let the emotions of the pain, of your suffering, through your system.
2. Kickboxing. Keith, who’s my kickboxing teacher, I’ve been with him for 28 years. He cannot believe how much I want to hurt him… physiologically exercise is the equivalent to a low dose of antidepressants.
3. I make sure I have fun. I don’t watch frightening things on TV – I drive my husband nuts because he wants to watch all the kind of frightening dramas, and I want to watch Mamma Mia. I want happy endings.

Links:
Julia’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
Grief Works app – https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
Therapy Works Podcast – https://juliasamuel.co.uk/podcasts/guest-appearances-2
Every Family Has A Story: How we inherit love and loss – https://amzn.to/3JXfDnR
This Too Shall Pass: Stories of Change, Crisis and Hopeful Beginnings – https://amzn.to/40uYDMN
Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death and Surviving – https://amzn.to/3zjjx5D
The Road Less Travelled – M. Scott Peck – https://amzn.to/3M5ozu6
On Death and Dying – Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – https://amzn.to/42UNZQW

Stream/Buy ‘Allies’ by Some Velvet Morning: https://ampl.ink/qp6bm
Some Velvet Morning Website: www.somevelvetmorning.co.uk
Your Daily Practice: Sleep by Myndstream: https://open.spotify.com/track/5OX9XgJufFz9g63o2Dv2i5?si=b2f9397c92084682

Host – Andy Coulson
CWC production team: Louise Difford, Ed Isaacs and Jane Sankey
With special thanks to Global