158. Can My Marriage Be Restored? With Kristy Rodriguez

Welcome to episode #158! This week, Matt and Braden chat with Kristy Rodriguez, Executive Director of Hope After Betrayal about what the path to restoration looks like in a marriage after sexual betrayal. There is so much gold in this episode!

Some of what we discussed were the 3 phases couples need to go through after disclosure.
Phase 1: Safety
To create safety in the marriage, there are many things that have to happen. The offending spouse must end their outside sexual behaviour, commit to consistent accountability, tell the whole truth, have a plan to change and actually implement that plan. Also, if both spouses can learn how to share their heart and understand the other person as they share, safety will begin to be established even despite the pain.

Phase 2: Remembering and mourning.

Couples that can grieve together in this process will find intimacy in the mourning stage. When it seems that their whole relationship has been a lie, they can sort through the rubble of memories and see what things from their marriage before disclosure they want to bring into their new relationship. Couples have to look back and feel what they've lost, mourn that, and begin moving forward together to repair the relationship.

Phase 3: Reconnecting

In this phase, couples are connecting not just through grief and thoughts regarding the betrayal, but in other healthier ways as well. They are rebuilding trust together and creating vision for the future. They are figuring out what their new marriage can look like together and ultimately, how they could maybe move on to help others in similar situations in the future.

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Resources
Hope After Betrayal
Women's Groups for Betrayal Trauma
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.