Stop Trying to "Escape" Conversations!

Many language learners I come across feel that speaking is one of the hardest parts of learning another language. They feel self-conscious and get frustrated at their inability to communicate with native speakers fluently, leading them to make mistakes such as:

1. Switching to their first language in the middle of a conversation. For example, I was once speaking with a friend in Gujarati and was feeling self-conscious. As a result, I started speaking with my friend in English. Her English level was higher than my Gujarati level, making it much easier to communicate in English.

2. “Running away” from a conversation. Once while in Brazil I was trying to buy a drink from a fast food restaurant. I tried to tell the cashier that I didn’t want ice in the drink, but she didn’t understand me. She gave me the drink and, unsurprisingly, it had ice in it. I felt discouraged and self-conscious about my low level of Portuguese, so instead of trying to explain myself once more, I swiftly walked out of the fast food restaurant in an attempt to avoid embarrassing myself further. In reality I probably didn’t have much to be embarrassed about despite feeling that way in the moment.

3. Avoiding conversations altogether. When I was in Beijing as a beginner Mandarin learner, I always struggled to get my point across and understand what others said. This was incredibly overwhelming and draining. Because of this, I would often sit in my room for hours at at time instead of going outside to take in the sights.

How to Have Smoother Conversations

The number one rule is to stay in the conversation as long as possible. Here are a few simple ways to do this. I elaborate further upon each one and give additional tips in this podcast episode.

• Ask lots of questions. It’s easier to ask questions than share long anecdotes yourself.

• Use online dictionaries and translators in the middle of conversations when you encounter words or phrases you don’t know.

• Use phrases like “let me think” and “let me look something up” to buy yourself more time to think about what to say next.

• Don’t be afraid to ask native speakers to repeat themselves or to slow down if you aren’t understanding what they say.• Don’t try to understand each word the native speaker says. Aim to understand the gist.

Feel free to contact me @polyglotazren or email me at https://azrenthelanguagenerd.com/contact if you have any comments or questions.