In this episode, we cover Step Ten of the Twelve Steps Codependents’ Guide To The Twelve Steps, Melody Beattie (CODA)
STEP 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it
Quote #1 - “We want to trust our feelings, but we must also call our intellect into play, so we don’t get lost in the swell of unearned guild and defensiveness.” (p157 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)
Quote #2 - Then I would feel confused and guilty when the feelings didn't go away. When the other person's behavior continued, so did my feelings.
It took me a long time I'm still learning this lesson — to realize that my feelings are often how my Higher Power speaks to me and tries to get my attention about a lesson I need to learn. That lesson may be setting boundaries, owning my power, or learning something about myself and relationships. My feelings are not incidentals. They are an important part of me, my life, and what I need to be paying attention to.“ (p158 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)
Quote #3 - “There is another area of our lives where our inventory may lead to the discovery of a wrongdoing that requires prompt admission. This area is one of wrongdoings toward ourselves. Not acknowledging and feeling our feelings, not setting the boundaries we need to set, not paying attention to ourselves, not trusting ourselves, not respecting ourselves, not listening to ourselves these are wrongdoings that need prompt attention.” (p158 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)
Quote #4 - “Not being emotionally honest about our needs and wants — with ourselves of others — is a wrongdoing.” (p159 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)
Quote #5 - “Not nurturing and taking care of the child within is a wrongdoing.” (p159 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)
Quote #6 - “…an important part of our inventory can also focus on what we’re doing right and on all that is happening within us and around us that’s good.”(p162 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)
Quote #7 - “We can let go of our need to be so critical of ourselves and others. We can look at what’s right.” (p163 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)
Quote #8 - “My peace, my joy, my love for self and other comes when I accept myself. It comes when I allow myself to be honest, open, and responsible with those I love, work with, and relate to.
It comes when I'm responsible to myself and my own needs.” (p166 Codependents’ Guide, M. Beattie)
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