For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast
Society & Culture:Relationships
Seeing and Loving Your Body (and Yourself) With No Shame: Jessamyn Stanley
We’re back with maybe the most foundational episode in our Being Seen and Heard series–and it’s all about how we see ourselves. Were you taught how to love yourself when you were growing up? Many of us never grew up hearing anything about embodiment, and maybe we’ve treated our bodies as “the enemy” for most of our years. Maybe you grew up in a time where you didn’t see people that looked like you, or had your body type represented in magazines, on TV or in movies. Perhaps you even had shame about your body (or still do), and you bought into diet culture and were constantly worried about your size and the number on the scale. It’s hard to see ourselves as beautiful when we’re looking outside ourselves for what that standard of beauty is. Our guest today is doing the good work of helping people see themselves differently, and it’s giving them freedom to love themselves for who they are today. Jessamyn Stanley has become a powerful voice for wellness and body acceptance (she also dubs herself the “Beyonce’ of yoga” - I mean who can’t get behind that?). After attending yoga classes with a friend, Jessamyn fell in love with it, but she noticed that she didn’t see anyone who looked like her or had a body like hers–and when she moved to a different city and wasn’t attending yoga classes anymore—she craved a community to share her practice–except she wanted all kinds of people and body types to be a part of it. She began sharing her yoga practice on Instagram back in 2012 and was amazed by the overwhelming response from many who had never done yoga before because they had felt just like Jessamyn had–that maybe it wasn’t for “people like them.” Her fledgling Insta-yoga classes grew into an organization called The Underbelly, a unique and inclusive digital wellness experience that now draws thousands of people into its safe and accepting space.
Jen and Jessamyn touch on these topics:
Jessamyn’s experience with being ashamed of her body as a middle schooler and also being bullied for being different, and how she looks at those years of bullying as a revelation that everyone is self conscious about their bodies–bullies included
The realization we all have at the end of the day; all we have is ourselves–and if we can accept ourselves as we are right now–not who we thought we should be, or who we might be–we’ll enjoy the ability to be fully present and authentic in all of our encounters
Debunking the long held notion that many people have about black women (and also that black women have been taught to believe)--that they are “stronger” and “superwomen,” and what it means to allow themselves moments of rest and self-care
Key changes that could be made to empower everyone to have their own agency toward self care, by making it possible for anyone–no matter how much money you make, or where you live–to participate in wellness practices like yoga
If we can face the truth about ourselves, and not turn away from the fullness of who we are–including the ugly and complex things, we can begin a journey to a shame-free life that will change the fabric of who we are and what we bring to the world.
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Thought-Provoking Quotes:
“Middle school was a time when I was really heavily bullied. That experience for me, looking back, was one of the greatest experiences because what it was actually teaching me is: everyone is self-conscious about their body. There's no one who is not self-conscious. And the person who bullies is having the most traumatic experience.” - Jessamyn Stanley
“If I am all I have, then I have to learn to accept myself where I am right now. Not where I could be in the future, or where I thought I should have been 10 years ago. Like, what does it mean to just be who I am today?” - Jessamyn Stanley
“Why I continue to practice yoga is because it is an opportunity for me to look at myself and see beyond these barriers that I've created for myself, to see beyond the way that society has defined me, to actually just feel and be present in the moment.” Jessamyn Stanley
“I kept sharing my yoga practice because I realized that it doesn't just help other fat people to see someone living their life unapologetically, but it can impact literally anyone to see another human being living honestly and authentically.” - Jessamyn Stanley
“If I am all I have, then I have to learn to accept myself where I am right now. Not where I could be in the future, or where I thought I should have been 10 years ago. Like, what does it mean to just be who I am today?” - Jessamyn Stanley
“It's been amazing, frankly– in this last decade especially–to see so many more people showing up to their yoga practices, to see specifically so many more black women. Specifically fat black women, fat, dark-skinned black women out here living their yoga practices, being authentic, finding whatever that is for them.” - Jessamyn Stanley
“It's hard to talk about, as a black person, what it feels like to accept that I was bred to hate myself. And so to connect with other people who understand that experience fully to a place where when they're reading my book, they're literally like–it's not like this is a new idea–it's like I just see myself. That has meant the world to me.” - Jessamyn Stanley
“There's this thing of like beating back the darkness and then I think that the darkness becomes so all consuming. The world that we're living in is scary. It's scary and it is dark. And I think in a lot of ways it's gonna get worse before it gets better. And for me though, there is this incredible power that comes from just letting the darkness be there and just letting it be all consuming. Because that is where the light really is. And that's how it shines so bright.” - Jessamyn Stanley
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Leslie Kinzel - Body acceptance writer
Maryanne Kirby - Body acceptance writer
Nicolette Mason - Fat fashion blogger
Dianne Bondi - Yoga practitioner
Bikram Yoga
Guest’s Links:
Jessamyn’s TikTok
Jessamyn’s Instagram
Jessamyn’s Twitter
The Underbelly Yoga
Jessamyn’s People Magazine feature
Yoke: My Yoga Of Self Acceptance - book by Jessamyn Stanley
Every Body Yoga - book by Jessamyn Stanley
@theBabySharkClub - Jessamyn’s dog on Instagram
Connect with Jen!
Jen’s website
Jen’s Instagram
Jen’s Twitter
Jen’s Facebook
Jen’s YouTube
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