Why We Ask For Love From People Who Aren't Able To or Don't Want to Give It To Us: When Codependency Makes Us Believe We're Unloveable

Too often it's the case that someone can receive 100 compliments yet choose instead to only focus on the one person who insulted them. The same can be seen frequently in dating and relationships. When a person we're seeing makes it clear through their actions, words, behavior, demeanor & beyond that they aren't willing to put in the effort for us or give us the love we are looking for. Yet we continue to take the minimal effort they are willing to give in hopes that it will eventually amount to a full blown loving connection. The reality is that 99% of the time it won't and we're better off moving on sooner than later so we can actually be available to the person who DOES want to love us. Codependency holds us back, believing that we need this person's approval and love to be worthy.

On this Identify and Heal solo episode, I explore the phenomenon of seeking love from people who are either incapable of doing so or have no interest in giving love to us. Which, when experienced, can lead us to believe that there is something wrong with us and create a fear that maybe we are unloveable. The truth is that these are simply people who are not aligned with us and cannot truly see us for the amazing, Divine Feminine being that we are so why waste our time on them? I provide some insight and personal experience with this concept and how to avoid falling into this trap the next time around.

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Whitney Walker, LMFT
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