Ask Amy: When Should Kids Stop Sharing a Room?

What are the signs that kids no longer want to share a room, and when do the cons of a shared space outweigh the pros? Amy cites a study or two to help a mom decide what's best for her two boys.

Emily asks:

How do I know when the right time is for my two boys (ages 7 and 8) to stop sharing a room? Are there signs I should be looking for? For context, the boys have shared a room since they were 1 and 2. We have a guest room that we occasionally let one sleep in, but it’s usually just when one is sick. I have heard from other moms that the benefits of sharing a room can expire as they get older, but I am not sure what I should be watching for.

If the current arrangement is working for everyone in the family there's no need to immediately change things up. But there are signs you can watch for that might mean a change is worth consideration.

A child's desire for privacy, siblings who bicker constantly, a divergence in interests or habits, and increasing homework loads are all signs that separate spaces might be needed. Studies also show that kids also get more sleep when they don't share rooms. However, this doesn't necessarily mean separate bedrooms. There could be one room designated for sleeping/study ,and another room designated for play and activity.

Don't feel guilty if your kids need to share a room, or if it just works better for the whole family that way. As far as knowing when it's time to change things, the clearest signal may be if and when one of the room-sharers actually asks for their own space.

Here are links to some resources Amy mentions in the episode:

• Erin Quinn-Kong for Sleep Foundation: Having Your Own Room as a Kid May Be Worth 28 Minutes of Sleep
• Kara Carrero for Extremely Good Parenting: Should siblings share a bedroom? This research will help you decide!

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