#24 - Harley Riders Are Annoying

Uh oh, I’ve crossed the line. Boy, am I gonna get my ass kicked now. I stated the opinion that everyone else is thinking, but too afraid to actually voice. At least openly in public. And the last thing you want to do is belittle the thing to which these irreputable enthusiasts attach their identity, because if you insult the motorcycle, you insult the person driving it. And that’s a sure-fire way to get stuck in the gut by a Hell’s Angel, Altamont style.

Hey Harley rider, I get it. You want people to think you’re a lion in the jungle, that your ear-curdling roar induces tingles of hair raising fear. And that you just don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. Which is ironic. Because it would appear that you care very much what everyone thinks, otherwise your motor would be muffled. Yes, you’re unconventional, a rebel, unique, fringe, anti-establishment. It’s just that it’s hard to be convinced when the company of whom you so fiercely endorse has a spreadsheet of 5.6 billion dollars in revenue last year.

Now, motorcycles are cool. And if it’s not raining, they make an exciting form of transportation. It’s a liberating feeling when the sativa-soaked sun is shining on your face with the unbridled summer wind sweeping across your body while you harness a stout, speed machine. And what do I care if your favorite pastime is standing around inspecting one another’s bikes like dogs sniffing their buddy’s balls? To each his own.

But could you turn down the volume a little? It’s irritating when your conversation is interrupted by a passing DC-10 on the street, that’s all.

Note: This never applies to a woman on a Harley. Chicks on motorcycles are always awesome no matter what and have license to crank their volume any time they feel overcome with the need to express themselves.