"look how it twists and turns"
look at how it twists and turns
the bend, the ridge,
in nature -
like your words,
sharp, razorlike,
sharks’ teeth in my skin
that you once held lovingly
tenderly
that you once held
you did
hold me in your heart
and kept me there safe
as I did you
in purity and bliss
like nature
how she holds dear each season
each delicate leaf
as it falls from her womb
to an early death
beauteous
wondrous
full of color
devoid of life
like you
struggling to maintain
some semblances of control
over your own
ego
like waves
crashing
we met
a breath of fresh air
you said
earnestly
empathically
our souls met and danced
like lovers
past lives
volcanic
we were
are
exactly that
and you
cannot remember
nor care to
it seems
rather focus on yourself
needs
wants
desires
and cast out those
who you see as beneath
who are truly above
and like each delicate rush of seasons
the ones who refuse to leave when new ones enter
your insecurity roars like a lion
my energy is erratic
due to your lack of integrity
honesty
authenticity
maturity
and trauma
Oh, your poor, sad unhealed inner child . . .
and on that bend
with the twists and turns
where we met again
in this life now
you have chosen to follow
the curves and winding roads
of confusion
darkness
toxicity
where you feel
most comfortable
scared to move
change
grow
be
something other than
those that accept
this mask you wear
claiming to be
someone
I know I recognized
that was our purpose
that is the message
that is the bond
eternal,
unfortunately
and you chose to break that
by judging me
this innocent
this beautiful creature set before you
that you did not deserve
in this lifetime
and in most likely the last
and I thank you
my lessons I have long learned
struggled
pained
fought and bled for
you criticized
like a microscope
holding your own imperfect lens
to my majestic growth
you failed to open your eyes
although I witnessed them working just fine
you are your own eternal damnation
your worst curse
and I believe
somewhere deep
within the mask you so proudly wear
there is a mirror
reflecting
all the souls
of those before you
ones you hurt
lied to
shamed
judged
criticized
discriminated against
and threw right under
the bus
and one day soon
hopefully right now
you feel my wrath
out of love
always out of love
although you deserve none of mine
not anymore
and are blinded profusely
by that mirror
and fall onto your knees
in humble grace
before the setting sun
before the rising dawn
in the sand and snow
grains, dirt, and earth
with feet muddied, bleeding and bare
until the crevices of mountains
you so adore
begin to bite you back
as you have so bitten others
and when mountains crumble and quake
beneath your feet
unsettled
may you feel within your chest
a thousand thrushes
waiting to be set free
and in this moment
may you hear my voice
see my face
feel the softness of my skin
hear my laughter
and the brightness in my eyes
that you so dimmed
after creating
and when you place your feet
upon that foothold
of life
may you hope by then
I have wished upon you
peace.
© Susan Marie
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