The Problem Cycle: Blame, Pain, and Conflict

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We’ve all experienced it. Clients who can’t stop talking about their pain, are fixated on wanting to re-litigate past hurts, and who blame their partner for everything that isn’t going smoothly in their divorce process or co-parenting relationship. These clients are stuck in the problem cycle. And when they’re in the problem cycle, they can only see the problem. They can’t focus on solutions, so conflict resolution is nearly impossible.

Regardless of why they're stuck in the problem cycle, we see 3 consistent things that prevent our client from getting relief or resolution. Blaming their partner or co-parent for the problem. Focusing on the past and their pain rather than the future and their power. And allowing their negative emotions (blame) and a state of activation (pain)  to throw fuel on the fire of an already tense situation

It’s our job as ADR specialists to help clients break out of that cycle and become more focused on taking action that can get them closer to their desired outcome. And we use a 3-step process to accomplish this:

1. Identify the problem (recognize conflict)
2. Develop alternative solutions (generate options)
3. Implement and evaluate (reflect and assess)

When we're able to successfully help clients move beyond the problem cycle, they can focus on empathetic problem solving and desired outcomes. And that allows them to take control over managing the conflict and take their power back.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com