Healing From Within - Sheryl Glick
Religion & Spirituality:Spirituality
Welcome to Healing from Within with your host Sheryl Glick RMT Reiki Master Energy Teacher, Medium and author of a trilogy with the newest edition A New Life Awaits: Spirit Guided Insight to Support Global Awakening which shares stories and messages from Spirit that show us our challenges in life are not economic political or societal but a deep disconnection from our true soul wisdom and inner being. Today we welcome Camilla Taft Hicks and Margaret Mindell authors The Gift of Life: Aging Well, Aging Smart & Wisdom for the Journey. a very detailed book on how to move into the last chapters of physical life appreciating ,reviewing, healing, and putting in order the many experiences and joys, as well as difficulties of a life lived as only your soul could. Most people focus on the doing while not reflecting on who we are and who we have become over the course of our journey in life. But this latter part of our life is as meaningful as all the other parts, and if done well, with good intention, can provide the grace that it was intended to be.
As listeners of Healing From Within are well aware Sheryl and her esteemed guests share intimate intriguing stories that often allow for a greater awareness of the challenges we face in a physical three dimensional life experience offering us a chance to recognize and remember we are spiritual beings who have chosen this life for the purpose of evolving to higher vibrations of consciousness and a greater comprehension of our capacity to love and learn compassion. In the duality of life we begin to remember that we are not separate entities but connected to each other through mind, body and spirit allowing us to find a way past human limitations and often suffering.
In today’s episode of Healing From Within Margaret and Camille have delivered a book about enjoying life and finding fulfillment as we age. I use the metaphor of the journey to describe living our later years. These years in the final chapter of physical life present all of us with opportunities to “rise to the occasion: the occasion of claiming our accomplishments and strengths, facing our vulnerabilities, and deciding how to complete our individual journeys in a planned and organized fashion that we create. It is not something we often think about, but like anything we have accomplished in our life a great deal of planning and preparation has gone into it and living in senior years demands perhaps even more attention!
Camilla when asked to think back to her childhood and remember a person place or event that may have signaled to her the interests work or lifestyle she might have in adulthood immediately tells us about her Aunt Martha Henderson who wrote, “The issue of spirituality, or finding meaning in life and death, is an underlying theme that kept surfacing in my personal and professional life. I have always been drawn to older adults, including their wrinkles and gray hair, markers of their survival skills. I have seen their creative adaptations to chronic illness and living life fully in the face of having to slow down. I have marveled at their wisdom, humor, and perspective. As director of clinical services and a geriatric nurse practitioner at a stimulating and friendly continuing care retirement community for ten years, I had the opportunity to get to know remarkable individuals. I had a primary-care practice for the residents there and provided care for them first in their independence, then in their limitations and dependence, whether in their homes or our sheltered care facility, and finally in their dying, usually in our nursing home. I partnered with them in their health care, helping them through life crises and honoring their decisions about how they wanted to live and die. Through years of working in various settings—hospitals, clinics, nursing homes, assisted living facilities, homes, a retirement community, and a rehabilitation center, I was privileged to observe and share in the lives of individuals who lived well until the moment they died—a great achievement, much of their own making Camilla picked up her very beloved aunts work and finished her book.
Camilla and Margaret tell us what the book is about and why they were guided to write this book. This book is about enjoying life and finding fulfillment as we age. We use the metaphor of the journey to describe living our later years. These years present all of us with opportunities to “rise to the occasion”: the occasion of claiming our accomplishments and strengths, facing our vulnerabilities, and deciding how to complete our individual journeys It is not something we often think about but like anything we have accomplished in our life a great deal of planning and preparation has gone into it and living in senior years demands perhaps even more attention Actually this is a subject that needs to be addressed as the world has an aging population and many issues related to that reality.
Sheryl says that because of fear of dying many just completely ignore and refuse to think about this possibility or answer questions to themselves about what they should do in preparation of that eventuality transitioning from physical life to beyond. All of us share the same gift—the gift of life. All of us will share the same final experience—death. This book invites you to live in the light, not the shadow, of death. Living in the light of death means living in the awareness of our vulnerability as well as our power to live each day to the fullest.
Camille writes, “How can life bring us more joy and meaning? It boils down to deciding on our values and priorities. Practically speaking, on what and with whom do we care enough to spend our time and energy? In this book, I share what I have learned and care about deeply: helping people live and die well. I am a geriatric nurse practitioner who has worked with healthy adults and chronically ill adults for 36 years. I have experienced the death of both my parents in the last four years. Though my focus seems to be on elders, it is really on all of us who are aware of the passing of time and care about making our lives better now and in the future. At 60 years of age, I feel I am on the threshold of my final phase of life. The time for me to write this book is now….. My parents had long, full lives, despite their challenging illnesses. Their deaths were comfortable and in keeping with their wishes. It was a gift to be able to help them receive the care they needed as they finished their lives with dignity, surrounded by love
Sheryl was asked to write a review for The Gift of Life and wrote, “ The Gift of Life: Aging Well, Aging Smart & Wisdom for the Journey shares how the experience of dying can be compared to the experience of being born. It shares how we can find fulfilment as we age and empowers us to control end -of- life decisions so we can surrender at the end of life with grace and gratitude for the miracle of the entire journey. Recommended for everyone ultimately preparing for the final frontier–life beyond life. Thoughtful and explicit details of the process!” —Sheryl Glick, Reiki Master Teacher Host of radio show Healing from Within www.sherylglick.com
The Gift of Life starts with an overview of life’s journey and how we notice that life is changing for us. The first chapter asks you some questions about your phase of life, what you have noticed, and about your preparations to make your future what you want it to be.
It focuses on the transition stages, from active living to the final phase of the journey. I use my parents’ last years to illustrate these stages. I also talk about the challenges and advantages in having your health care provider predict a range of time in which you might expect to die. I discuss some benefits of becoming aware of where you are now and what is ahead. You will learn that you have already started practicing for your death, so it won’t be quite as difficult. The major portion of the book describes traveling the journey of later life, addressing the most compelling issues that I have seen arise in many years of working with older adults.
These are:
Margaret gives us an overview of the Journey: Transitions Given the long life expectancy of our times, most of us will live for quite a while with at least one chronic illness such as heart disease, lung disease, or dementia, and then die from it. Despite the hardiness of many elders, increasing longevity and advanced chronic illness has led to a rise in functional disability—a limitation that renders one dependent.
About 35 percent of US adults aged sixty-five and over report having a disability, including difficulty in hearing, vision, cognition, ambulation, self-care, or independent living. Disabilities increase with age. Among adults aged eighty and over, 27 percent report three or more physical limitations.
Dementia, a group of symptoms related to loss of memory, affects many aging adults. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia; it results from vascular illness and causes progressive memory loss. Alzheimer’s disease is not often listed as an immediate cause of death but is the underlying terminal illness. In the last stages, dementia leads to an inability to swallow so that its natural end is a gradual lack of adequate nutrition (a painless process) or infection. According to the National Institutes on Aging, about 5.5 million individuals have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s nationwide. As with other disabilities, the incidence of Alzheimer’s increases with age. At the present rate of the illness, by mid-century, 13.5 million Americans are anticipated to have Alzheimer’s disease
For most of us, our active lives in our 50s, 60s and sometimes 70s are usually not even considered a part of our final journey. Our bodies and minds are working well and allow us to do what we please. With rarely a thought about dying, we want to remain unaware that our lives will eventually change drastically. This pattern of thinking is normal. We do notice rather benign changes due to aging, such as stiff joints, wrinkled skin, and a need for reading glasses. We develop a chronic illness and manage it quite successfully without missing a step.
As we age, we may develop a more serious chronic illness. The progression of our illness is hardly noticeable to us because our bodies are miraculously adept at compensating for changes in our health. During the active stage of later life, there is a blurring of what is normal aging and the effects of chronic illnesses. There will likely come a time when we observe that changes in our bodies and minds may be heralding something more important than the natural slowing down of normal aging. We notice that a decline in our health interferes with our usual activities of daily living. This change marks what I call the transition phase, which can last for years and during which people continue to function.
The beginning of the transition phase can come at any age and is a combination of physical, emotional, and social factors. Its timing is usually influenced by our genes (what our parents died from), our lifestyle (how well we have taken care of ourselves), how suitable our living conditions are, the illnesses we may have developed over the years, and how we are coping with our changes. This phase has stages, which are not specifically defined, and can be long, short, or overlap. During this transition, people make increasing adjustments and usually continue being relatively active. The transition phase begins when we notice a decline in our health that begins regularly interfering with our usual daily living. I will describe and illustrate five sequential stages. They are somewhat arbitrary but represent a slow decline. They may progress gradually, even over years, and include periods of stable chronic illness. In our journey analogy, while excellent resources, good advice, and the will to live can provide sustenance for many, eventually, the journey as we know it will end. Attention and care should be given to make the ending the most peaceful and comfortable possible.
Camilla talks about Enjoying Life While Caring for Your Health. Some of us enjoy excellent health late in life, but most of us have or will develop a chronic illness. It is usually a manageable one, such as hypertension. For many, something more serious may eventually surface, such as coronary artery disease (disease of the arteries of the heart).
Although we can live active lives for years with chronic illness, at some point, that condition is likely to become life-threatening and ultimately cause our deaths. You and your loved ones should know as much as possible about any chronic illness or illnesses you face.
Take charge of your health by following these guidelines:
Ask these questions:
Make a commitment to Live a healthy lifestyle.
Healthy lifestyles help us prevent and control chronic illnesses. There are numerous books and organizations that promote healthy living, so I will not go into detail here.
The below sections focus primarily on aging individuals’ needs. You may know most of this, but many people can use a reminder.
Eat healthfully and avoid being overweight. While there are various nutritional approaches to eating, I suggest that you eat a well-balanced diet high in fresh vegetables and fruits and fiber and low in saturated fat and carbohydrates (sweets and white foods). A multivitamin with minerals as well as 500mg of calcium three times a day and a daily dose of 800 units of Vitamin D are useful for women. Favorite supplements are highly individualized.
Maintain good dental health with daily oral hygiene by brushing and flossing. This is very important in maintaining gum health and preserving your own teeth as long as possible. Avoid extractions to prevent bone loss, thus supporting your teeth and best enabling you to eat comfortably, talk clearly, and look your best as you age. If you have dentures, be sure they fit correctly. Remove and clean them daily, along with cleaning your mouth, to prevent problems.
Exercise every day. Exercise to your capacity for thirty to forty minutes, or at least three times a week, doing something you enjoy. If you have not been exercising routinely, ask your primary provider if you should observe any exercise restrictions. Start slowly and increase your speed and length of time gradually. If you have limitations, exercise within them, but try to do so every day.
This may mean just getting out of bed or your chair and walking some, with a walker or help if necessary.
If balance is an issue, take care to avoid falls with good lighting, walking shoes, and level surfaces. Mental Enjoying Life While Caring for Your Health 39 stimulation is also very important. Engage daily in something you enjoy that uses your mind, such as crossword puzzles, board games, or reading. Stop smoking or vaping. This is possible and very important for your health, especially your lungs, heart, and blood vessels. Follow smoking or vaping cessation guidelines to make it easier, join a smoking cessation program, or ask your provider about medication if you need additional help.
Minimize stress and take steps to manage it. This includes getting adequate rest and taking time for leisure and fun.
Your sleep patterns change as you age. Learn to adjust to these changes and avoid sleep medications. While all of us experience periodic acute stress from an upsetting or demanding situation, chronic or continuous stress is damaging to the body.
Evaluate how you can decrease the stress in your life. Be creative and find something you like to do as a de-stressor, such as dancing or walking. Find sources of emotional, social, and spiritual support. We are whole beings whose physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs are highly interrelated. If we are failing physically, this stresses our emotions, relationships, and belief systems. Vice versa—when we pay attention to our emotional, social, and spiritual needs, we are likely to benefit physically. We all need someone to care about and someone who cares about us. We also need someone we trust and respect with whom to share our most private thoughts and feelings.
Spiritual nurture, including daily practice, benefits the body as well as the soul. Social groups are important, whether they are centered on an interest, your neighborhood, your faith community, or people in a similar health situation. Volunteering to help meet a community need is excellent for one’s sense of purpose. Many such opportunities exist for seniors. Call your local department (or council) on aging to learn what’s available.
Maintain a positive attitude about your health. This has a known positive effect. We are in charge of how we respond to the challenges our health presents.
Margaret shares how we can make Health Decisions to set up our future. If you are cared for primarily by a specialist, it is important that you also visit your general provider at regular intervals—at least once a year and any time an acute problem arises. These visits allow you to discuss health concerns in addition to any chronic illnesses and to participate in preventive measures such as flu or pneumonia vaccinations and cancer screenings. They also give you a chance to discuss your advance plan for end-of-life care. Always get an appointment for the next visit before you leave the office. If appointments are supposed to be sent and you do not receive one within a reasonable time, call the scheduler to set an appointment date that is convenient for you.
Realize that you are in charge of your health, not your primary provider. You know your body better than anyone else, so you are smart to assume primary responsibility for it.
One aid in doing this is a “health notebook” or folder with divider tabs that you take with you to all medical appointments, emergency room visits, and hospital admissions. Consider including the following items:
Camilla shares how we can make Living Arrangements and Care Options
There are many possibilities for you to find the optimal living arrangement and services. It takes time and patience to find the information and helpers to meet your needs, but all the resources are available. Knowing where to look and what is required for each setting or service, including financial and health eligibility, can help you determine what is best for you. You may need one kind of care for a period of relative independence and another setting or care arrangement when your illness progresses to greater severity.
Costs involved in caring for yourself depend on many factors, such as your preferences, the complexity of your illnesses, your ability to care for yourself both physically and mentally, and the availability of family members or other helpers.
Regarding financial resources, I will only briefly describe some of the basics about paying for health care during this time of life and refer you to more complete references. It is important to realize that Medicare and health insurance do not pay for nursing home care or ongoing services. (They pay for outpatient services, hospital services, and only limited, short-term “skilled” nursing services for elders in home health and nursing homes.)
Medicaid is another federally funded program administered by each state. To be eligible for Medicaid, you must have a very limited income with no assets except your house and car. If you are eligible, Medicaid does pay for long-term care and medications, with a small copayment required for medications.
Long-term care insurance can help pay for some services, though it’s recommended that you obtain it before you are aged or sick to ensure eligibility and a reasonable price. Policies vary on what services they cover. Unfortunately, our health care system does not provide funds for the ongoing services that most of us will need when we are older.
Individuals who have not saved for long term care expenses and need a nursing home for an extended stay will have to exhaust most personal funds to qualify for Medicaid funding
Staying at Home Ideally, spouses or partners will be able to help each other as they age. Couples often complement each other in their preserved abilities. Ideally, at least one dependable relative or friend will be willing and available to help as needed
Moving to Another City to be Near Children Although staying in one’s own familiar home is often most desirable, moving to a new home to be near children can be a useful alternative. Such a move is a highly individual matter and deserves careful00 consideration.
Adult Daycare and Adult Day Health Services Adult daycare services can provide support for adults who may need limited assistance during the day, offering supervision, activities, a meal, and sometimes transportation. Such programs allow older individuals to get out of the house for enjoyable activities with others while a family member or caregiver goes to work. Another service is an adult day health program, which must be licensed and has trained staff to provide medical monitoring, medications, group activities, and transportation. People with problems such as dementia or chronic physical disability benefit from daytime care. Some adult day health programs specialize in caring for persons with a specific disease, such as multiple sclerosis or dementia
Hospice When your time to die comes, you, like many other older Americans, may want to die at home or in the home of a loved one. Hospice can help make this happen. Some people never have to leave home if they arrange for hospice care.
Living in a Loved One’s Home Even though living with a child may not be your preferred arrangement, it may be more desirable than institutional care. If your child should offer this kind of support, you should carefully consider the option.
The most important thing is to overcome your natural resistance to planning for dependency; spend some time thinking about what you want and what is reasonable for you
Every religion offers a comment on death.
This is the Hindu version.
As the rivers flowing east and west Merge in the sea and become one with it, Forgetting they were ever separate rivers So do all creatures lose their separateness When they merge at last into pure being. —Chandogya Upanishad 10:1–2
Living and dying involve mysteries that surprise and humble us. We realize that we are a part of the universal human community where we are more alike than different. Most of us will live or have lived, long lives, exhibiting our unique abilities to enjoy what life has brought us and rising to meet challenges we’ve encountered. At some point, it will dawn on each of us that we really are aging, and we really will die. Before death comes, we still have now for living. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a psychiatrist well known for her work on loss and death, and David Kessler wrote a wonderful book entitled Life Making the Most of Life Changes about living fully. The authors talk about the importance of authenticity, a life based on who we really are, not who we wish we were or perhaps pretend to be. An authentic life brings peace and joy in little and big decisions.
We can make the Most of Life Changes!
Adapting your home for safety and ease:
The experience of dying can be compared to the experience of being born. Each is a major transition. Just as labor into life is sometimes difficult, so can be the labor out of life. Some people drift away very comfortably and peacefully with no medications necessary at all; others may experience symptoms that can be effectively treated.
One of the best medicines for pain, shortness of breath, and comfort, in general, is morphine, often in small amounts. Contrary to a common fear, opioids, such as morphine and other similar agents, are not addicting when they are used for symptom control. Some people get confused as they are dying, which may be disturbing to them and loved ones, and there are medications to help this as well. Some individuals need no medications for discomfort, but they are the exceptions.
If you are not getting relief for your symptoms, you or a family member can ask your provider for a palliative care consultant, a “comfort care” specialist, or a hospice consult. Comfort is almost always achievable, and suffering is largely preventable.
Even though most of us avoid thinking about death, especially our own, there are certain events that draw our attention to the subject. It may be the death of a relative or good friend. It may be the death of someone who is similar to us in age and health. It may also be the diagnosis of a potentially serious chronic illness, such as diabetes, or the onset of a terminal illness, such as cancer.
The pandemic has also given us a deeper awareness of how quickly death can come. In any of these circumstances, questions about our own death suddenly become very relevant. After dealing with the shock and sadness of bad news, for someone else or ourselves, a helpful response is to prepare for the end of your own life—what do you want, and how can you make it happen? Starting this planning process often makes people recognize the preciousness of life in a new way.
Advance Care Planning and Why It Is Important Advance care planning is preparing for one’s death. It is the process of reflecting on our lives and values, deciding what we want at its end, then communicating our wishes to others. It means, specifically, understanding our future health care choices in light of what is important to us and what is realistic about our health, making end-of-life treatment decisions in discussions with our professional providers and loved ones, and then putting our wishes in writing.
Over many years of practice, I have found that intellectual and practical preparation for the end is very helpful later when individuals must cope with the emotional impact of facing death. I see advance care planning as a gift to our loved ones and ourselves. It can bring peace of mind to those we love and help ensure we will get what we want.
It is specifically helpful to our health care team in guiding their care of us. Advance care planning is a concrete way of putting the principle of self-determination into practice. One goal of advance care planning is to ensure that we will have a “good death,” one in which all involved are prepared, we are comfortable, and our care is in keeping with our wishes.
Living arrangements might be considered if you are unable to manage on your own. As we anticipate getting older and experiencing a decline in health, we may start to think about what living arrangements we will need. Pondering this early, before the need is urgent, will help us when the time comes for a change.. Most people want to stay at home as long as possible, which can often be achieved successfully while living with controlled chronic illness.
Still, all of us reach a time when we are not as independent as we used to be and need help. Planning for this time when we can no longer care for ourselves is important in dealing realistically with the inevitable. The challenge of deciding on care services and where to live can cause divisions in families. The biggest underlying issues usually come down to control and resources. If you are aware of all the risks involved in staying home, and if you have the necessary financial resources, the decision is ultimately yours. But what if, one day, you no longer fully understand your situation? Should your mental clarity decline—if you become limited in understanding the issues, the options, and the consequences of each—then loved ones will have more influence.
Their decisions will be based on concerns about safety, practicality, matters of finance, and adequate care in addition to your desires. Your health care provider can help with determining your decision-making capacity. Everyone involved in your care should understand what is at stake, with a view to the future, including when you are dependent and dying. This assumes you want to live as independently as possible, whether you continue to live at home, with a loved one, or in a community such as a retirement home, assisted living facility, or nursing home. Planning such contingencies with your family and friends will reassure everyone involved.
Camilla and Margaret might want readers of the book The Gift of Life to take away with them after reading your book another important and more immediate goal is to help us live the rest of our lives to the fullest by Preparation for the two major transitions in our lives, birth and death, which are equally important. Yet as a culture, we pay significantly more attention to preparing for birth than for death. It is commonly accepted that a good birthing is much more likely if we are prepared. The same is true of dying. In childbirth, the parents usually think about family planning well ahead of conception; when pregnancy occurs, they spend time educating themselves about what is happening and preparing to make the birthing process just what they want it to be.
Dying is similar. We can educate ourselves about the decisions that need to be made and how best to care for ourselves in the dying process. The time is full of opportunities to grow, find meaning, share stories, and strengthen relationships. When the labor of dying starts, all involved should be ready with attentive experts guiding the care as needed. There may be rituals to make the event more special. The quality of the dying process will leave an indelible memory for those involved. We can influence that quality through advance care planning.
We thank Camilla Taft Hicks and Margaret Mindell for authoring The Gift of Life a much needed overlooked way to improve and minimize anxiety and concerns in the last part of life- the senior years. Like anything else that is accomplished or done well in our life journey a great deal of attention and planning are needed.
In summarizing today’s episode of Healing From Within Margaret Mindell has helped us remember that life is about enjoying and finding fulfillment as we age. I use the metaphor of the journey to describe living our later years. These years present all of us with opportunities to “rise to the occasion”: the occasion of claiming our accomplishments and strengths, facing our vulnerabilities, and deciding how to complete our individual journeys It is not something we often think about but like anything we have accomplished in our life a great deal of planning and preparation has gone into it and living in senior years demands perhaps even more attention
We need to be able to assess the transitions that we will face through changing health conditions and to have the right medical counseling so we can best handle changing health challenges and then must determine living conditions that are suitable to our challenges and prepare with family so they know our health proxy wishes and prepare a living will. Preparation is necessary for success in all areas of life and in preparing for the final phase of our life we will make it possible to be less stressed and more accepting of any and all changes as they surface.
As Camille and Margaret write, “Aging can be a time of deepening relationships and appreciating our history and interdependence. Relationships between elders and children become very important. We need each other even more as we realize our time is growing shorter. Family concerns often increase, as aging may bring severe and debilitating illnesses. When death seems closer, worries can multiply—about a spouse left behind, being a burden on our children, finances, business matters, or questions about personnel to give us adequate care. As we age, working out our living and care arrangements should be a matter of family discussion. Sometimes our closest relationships become strained in our later years. Others’ old habits that were always irritating may become more so. Role reversals in which our physical or mental state may leave us dependent on our children or others to do things for us, including making some decisions. These realities should always be discussed, if possible, and you should participate if you can and want to. This is a time of acceptance of one another to live and let live as much as possible”
Camilla Margaret and Sheryl would have you remember that life is but the first step in preparation for an endless journey beyond the physical and for those who can embrace a spiritual awareness of their soul and physical life many painful experiences can be allowed accepted and surrendered to as the ending of this life prepares us for the next.
I am Sheryl Glick RMT host of Healing From Within and author of the newest book in a trilogy, A New Life Awaits: Spirit Guided Insights to Support Global Awakening and invite you to visit my website www.sherylglick.com to read about and listen to leaders authors visionaries metaphysicians scientists spiritualists medical professional energy healers psychologists and those in the arts and music fields as they search for a clearer understanding of human and divine nature. Shows may also be heard on www.webtalkradio.net and www.dreamvisions7radio.com
Today’s Guesthttps://thegiftoflifebook.com/
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