Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher
Health & Fitness:Mental Health
Handbook for My Daughter: Reflecting, Discovering, and Planning for Healthy Relationships
In this podcast episode, Maurice Harker continues the discussion on the "Handbook for My Daughter" concept. He encourages participants to express their concerns and experiences in the chat, emphasizing the importance of visualizing and documenting their thoughts.
Maurice introduces the "Pattern for Growth," a concept inspired by President Nielsen's leadership, consisting of four stages: Discover, Plan, Act, and Reflect. He begins by focusing on the "Reflect" stage, encouraging participants to reflect on what went wrong in their past relationships.
Participants share various concerns and experiences, including emotional and verbal abuse, trusting too much, over-pleasing, staying in an unsafe environment, ignoring intuition, and dealing with infidelity. Maurice notes that it's not essential to label these experiences with psychological precision; the focus is on acknowledging the hurt and learning from it.
The "Discover" phase shifts the focus toward the future. Maurice highlights that this phase is filled with questions that help participants understand what is normal, how they adapted to maintain relationships, and what is healthy in the context of future relationships.
Maurice addresses a comment about recognizing certain behaviors as textbook. He acknowledges that while each person's behaviors may look slightly different due to individual personalities, there are common patterns in problematic behaviors within relationships. This insight comes from extensive experience in working with people.
The episode delves into the "Plan" stage, emphasizing the importance of formulating a vision for a healthy environment, often referred to as a "greenhouse." This healthy environment isn't selfish; it's a necessary element for personal growth and survival. Maurice discusses the tendency for some women to overextend themselves in relationships, which can lead to a graveyard rather than a greenhouse.
Maurice highlights the concept that women often objectify themselves, forgetting that they are living organisms with needs for a healthy environment to thrive. He also suggests that in healthy relationships, husbands and wives may need different forms of nurturing, as women tend to be driven to provide high-quality nurturing to everyone around them, leading to feelings of guilt when they feel depleted.
The episode ends with a call to recognize the importance of taking care of oneself and creating a greenhouse environment for personal growth and well-being.
Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/if-you-dont-have-the-spirit/
Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTK28LWCDx0
Check out the WORTH: https://healingwithworth.org/
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