304: ⏫️ Justine A. revisits

1️⃣ Revisiting a river in China.

2️⃣ Spacey or Spacious? "I don't ever know not thinking"

🔹 Parts:

1️⃣

• P: The thinking part, it's a caretaker. Let’s not go in the body ever again. 20-21, moved out, traveled, alone, crying and looking for answers by the river. No relief from pain from:
• E: The hurt ones. grateful and relieved. Early abandonment, attachment. A nest, pillow, a teddy, a cat.

2️⃣

• P Juggling, thinking, too busy. I can’t stop. Have to go round and round, cuz there’s no other choice. See me, just see me
• P Get stoned
• P The self sitting at the table
• P No mistakes, because “I can’t speak to parts”
• P You mustn’t get it wrong, so don’t try. Don’t be your full size. Dont step in to anything

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

1️⃣ Feeling ecstatic, it's hard to focus on guiding. I just want to just settle back, join the awedience.

2️⃣ "The more the therapist is able to tolerate the anxiety of not knowing, the less need there is for the therapist to embrace orthodoxy." - Irvin D. Yalom.

If you said “James that was some shitty practitionering”, well I'd be open to that.

I'm also open to the possibility that Justine’s awareness, insight and intuition are surpassing mine, and perhaps I'm only dumb compared to her.

And/or: IFS, like everything, is trickier when sleepless, and when I say "nothing needs to happen", I mean it!

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