How “Fitting In” Harms You

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson sits down with Dr. Emily Bashah to discuss social pressures of fitting in and morality and its role in shaping human behavior. They talk about the ethical dilemma people face when their moral compass is at odds with societal expectations.

• Paul starts the discussion by describing how morality can make or break a society.
• He reveals how morality often comes into conflict with social status - people would rather be morally wrong than lose their place in society.
• Emily breaks down how Tribalism can devastate us as individuals.
• Paul and Emily break down shocking morality stories from the Bosnia ethnic cleansing campaigns - the worst act of mass killing in Europe since World War 2.
• According to Paul, two natures in each of us are constantly at war: good versus evil.
• Paul and Emily agree that it doesn’t matter what group you’re in. We all want to fit into some social establishment.
• Emily defines cognitive dissonance and how people can navigate the conflict between values and behavior.
• For Emily, it’s not weak to avoid fights. Strength comes from picking the battles that are worthy and important.
• We are social creatures, and we are primed to crave a sense of belonging.
• Paul talks about forgiveness and why some people struggle to let go of their anger, hurt, and desire for vengeance.
• If you want to be patriotic, Paul believes the best place to start is to stop insulting other Americans.
• Paul and Emily discuss how cognitive dissonance played a role in the Rwanda and Bosnia genocides.
• Emily talks about people’s internal battle between doing what’s right and the need to fit in.
• Paul covers the common morality issues plaguing our society today.
• Want to learn how to be kind? Start by trusting your morality instead of following your ego.

 

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

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Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

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Dr. Emily Bashah

The Gulag Archipelago by A. Solzhenitsyn