On this episode, I’d like to talk about my greatest fear. I’m talking about FOMO. Also known as Fear of Missing Out. And FOMO, unfortunately, I find myself chasing it over and over and over again. Perhaps you can relate? The thing is: Sometimes not giving into FOMO allows you to focus on the things that matter most. It allows you to not be afraid that you’re missing out on a great time with friends or something like that. —- I’ve been hearing a lot of people around me talk about FOMO. . As in my good friend Dan who wanted to join a small group with me last night for a full-moon festival that involved fire-dancing, a great DJ, and live visionary art paintings. The festival was like Burning Man meets Cirque Du Soleil. Like I promised Dan, the night turned out to be incredible fun, full of insight, great conversation, and connecting with inspiring people. But Dan couldn’t go to the festival and choose to say no to FOMO and recognize the excitement in the path he’s currently on. He found himself at the train station in Washington D.C. with a potential 6-hour train ride to come stay at my place. He had nothing packed: no change of clothes or anything. As he almost spontaneously boarded the train, he realized he was chasing FOMO. He was afraid that by not coming up to visit me, he would be missing out on an adventure and a memory that he could tuck away into his mental scrapbook. Even though I’m honored to be his friend, I’m glad he chose to stay home. So he let the train go by. He listened to the whistle blow and returned to his car to dive further into his firefighter training. He has a couple of weeks to prove himself to the fire department in D.C. that he is a high-quality hire and will add incredible value to the firefighting team. Dan is choosing to be the best version of himself and determined to be the best firefighter he can be. He’s choosing to recognize FOMO which is something I, myself, am slowly getting better at. As Dr. Wayne Dyer would put it, Dan is living his life on purpose because he is diving headfirst into what he is passionate about and better serves humanity as a whole even when this dedication comes at the cost of missing out on other things like meeting up with friends. Dan saves lives. He spent the last decade serving the fire department in Memphis, Tennessee, and now rides the red firetruck through the crowded D.C. streets. His last 24-hour shift had twenty house fire calls! But even though he loves his job and finds a deep seed of purpose in his life’s work, that doesn’t mean FOMO doesn’t creep up. Because when you live your life on purpose, you dive into excitement. You choose excitement. You recognize what makes your heart dance and aren’t afraid to move your feet. As Anne Lamott once said, ‘Don’t look at your feet as if you’re doing it right, just dance.” Perhaps you can relate to Dan? I know there isn’t a week (or day) that goes by where I don’t stop and recognize FOMO. Right now, I’m thinking about the yoga class that I’m missing or the book that's still unread on my bookshelf or the friendships that I haven’t been able to nurture much over the past years or the cultures I have yet to travel to or the other many bucket list items I still have to explore. But I’m choosing to be here with you and that’s more purposeful to me. I’m honored that you signed up for this newsletter and I’m determined to be the best version of myself for you. So, here’s one tip that I’ve pulled from all of my interviews and research. Whenever you’re faced with a fork in a road, be confident on the path that you currently walk on and recognize that FOMO is out of “ the deficit mindset” as my friend Jill calls it. The Deficit Mindset is feeling like missing out on an event will mean I am less of something by not going to something or experience something. The opposite is recognizing how fully alive you already are -- right here, right now -- and don't need the event that triggered FOMO to live your life on purpose. Sometimes not giving into FOMO allows you to focus on the things that matter most. Sometimes the path you are currently on (the project you are working on instead of spending time with friends, the work you are doing instead of building your hobby, the children you are raising instead of vagabonding around the world, and so on) is your hero’s journey. It’s a beautiful path that fulfills you without the need to chase FOMO. —- What about you? When have you chosen not to chase FOMO and chose a higher path on purpose?
view more