24. Bury Me Under The Subway

Here lies the body of the Rich Little Brokegirl who said the New York Subway changed her. After being burned, skinned, and then eaten up by New York's finest, it's been the best week of my life! This week, I learned that New York is the safest city in the world. A city where men do not harass women for merely existing, and as long as you mind your business, you can hop on the subway in your sexiest, flashiest form, and the men down under will respect your space and privacy. Catcall? Men don’t do that here. Pestering? They would never! In New York, all a woman needs is zero eye contact, resting b*tch face, an illegal taser, and pepper spray, and she is set for success! So get those tits, ass, and Chanel out, ladies, and head on down to your local train stop!

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