Here is my prescription for a happy holiday if not a tolerable one…
Set an outcome to have fun and enjoy the holidays.
Another issue connected to taking care of yourself is setting boundaries:
Boundary lesson: Say no when you can say no. it seems that so many people and companies cram into 24 days of December gatherings and parties. Be judicious about which ones you attend.
People spend a lot of money…. Determine and manage a budget for spending. It is so easy to say, “Oh, I’ll deal with my credit cards next year.” But next year is closer than you think and amassing a large debt can put you into high stress. You can do a conflict resolution with yourself to resolve the pull between what you want to spend and what would be prudent.
Big challenge dealing with family members
Ignoring them won’t necessarily make them disappear. Here are some strategies I’ve used over the years
a. Do anchoring and attach the person to something you love or a resource that gives you better state management and grace. You could even connect them to something you are thankful for. After all, being thankful for someone who helps you evolve is a plus. Morgan: connected concept.
b. Align an experience with this person with Perceptual Position Alignment. A powerful exercise that aligns your submodalities with a pattern that gives you the most flexibility.
No politics – especially if you want to maintain subjective coherency. Or at least maintain amicability
Ask questions: If you are familiar with the Meta Model, you know that asking questions is a great form of rapport. Ask open-ended questions that show interest in someone’s life.
If you know there are adversarial family members, keep a low profile.
Match and pace, match and pace.
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