Help For When the Holidays Suck

In this episode, we discuss the challenges and stress that can come with the holiday season, particularly for queer and trans individuals. We share personal stories of past stressful holidays and how we’ve learned to navigate and set boundaries with our families. We emphasize the importance of having a plan and a support system in place, as well as the need to do the inner work to recognize one’s worthiness and the right to set boundaries. We share the outline of the four steps of Soul Safe, which include identifying what’s at stake, doing the inner work, setting boundaries, and creating a soul-safe plan. But we also want to highlight the importance of flexibility and the ability to change boundaries over time.

Takeaways

• Holidays can be particularly stressful for queer and trans individuals due to family dynamics, pressure to be happy, and the amplification of past traumas.
• Having a plan and a support system in place is crucial for navigating stressful holiday situations.
• Setting boundaries is essential for self-care and maintaining emotional well-being during the holidays.
• Boundaries can change over time, and it is important to prioritize one’s own health and wholeness.

Chapters

(1:10) Sharing stressful holiday stories

(03:31) The importance of having a plan and support system

(08:24) Finding support outside of family

(10:31) The amplification of family dynamics during holidays

(16:10) The challenges of setting boundaries

(19:11) The four steps of soul safe

(32:54) The importance of flexibility and changing boundaries

Resources:

• Set up your account on our new resource platform: https://my.queertheology.com/home
• Unaffirming Friends and Family resource: https://my.queertheology.com/checkout/unaffirming-friends-and-family 
• Join the community at Sanctuary Collective. 

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