The Cost of Making Other People the Center of Your Life

If you grew up fearing that you were in danger from your own family, you may have developed a strong sense that YOU were responsible to make everyone safe and happy. You’ll see children do this sometimes – completely abandon their own needs because they’re so worried that their mom or dad will not be OK. Your parent not being OK is an existential threat to a kid. It’s hard to imagine you can survive it. But if something doesn’t happen to help you take BACK your identity, you run the risk of giving away your whole life to this imagined need you THINK other people have. My letter today is from a woman who struggles with the belief that if she takes charge of her life, other people will not only hate her, but they'll be destroyed.

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