ERP 408: How To Repattern A People Pleasing Tendency — An Interview With Dr. Dana McNeil

Many people struggle with establishing boundaries in their close relationships due to a tendency to people please at the expense of their own needs. This challenge often stems from a deep-rooted desire to please others, leading individuals to prioritize the needs and desires of those around them over their own well-being. The fear of disappointing or upsetting others can make it difficult to assert personal boundaries, as individuals may worry about potential conflict or rejection.

In this episode, we explore the pervasive impact of people-pleasing behaviors on the establishment of healthy boundaries in relationships. We offer actionable guidance for overcoming this challenge by helping listeners recognize people-pleasing behaviors, understand the importance of boundaries, learn how to effectively communicate needs to partners, and negotiate differences in a way that fosters greater intimacy and understanding between both individuals. The discussion provides practical exercises and examples that can help listeners develop healthier relationship patterns centered around mutual care, respect, and fulfillment for both individuals.

Dr. Dana McNeil is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and founder of The Relationship Place, a group practice located in her hometown, San Diego, California. Dr. Dana’s practice specializes in relationship therapy and utilizes an evidence-based type of couples therapy known as the Gottman Method. Dr. Dana is a certified Gottman Method therapist and Doctor of Psychology. She also leads training at the Gottman Institute to help clinicians master the art of couples therapy.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode

5:10 Dr. Dana McNeil’s journey to therapeutic practice.

13:30 People-pleasing: Highlighting the challenges it poses in expressing needs and setting healthy boundaries.

20:25 Practical ways to identify and communicate personal needs, especially for individuals struggling with people-pleasing tendencies.

26:48 Building stronger relationships through open communication and honesty.

32:55 Setting boundaries, embracing vulnerability, and overcoming people-pleasing.

39:40 Embracing differences and talking through challenges.

Mentioned

D-Spot Conversations: Navigating Today's Complicated Relationships (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

D-Spot Conversations: Navigating Today’s Complicated Relationships (download link)

Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

Hendricks Institute

The Gottman Institute

ERP 269: How to Break Free from the Nice Guy Syndrome That Is Holding You Back – An Interview with Dr.Robert Glover

ERP 323: One of the Most Important Relationship Skills – Being Relational — An Interview with Terry Real

Connect with Dr. Dana McNeil

Websites: danamcneil.com | sdrelationshipplace.com | dspotpodcast.com

Facebook: facebook.com/DrDanaMcNeil | facebook.com/sdrelationshipplace

YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCTiGMC8VeLRMFl8FN9MYFSg | youtube.com/@dspotpodcast/videos

Instagram: instagram.com/drdanamcneil | instagram.com/sdrelationshipplace | instagram.com/dspotpodcast

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dr-dana-mcneil

Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-d-spot/id1629708409 (Apple Podcast link)

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship 

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins 

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation 

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins 

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 

Website: drjessicahiggins.com  

Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. 

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*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.