Ask Margaret: How Do I Help My Kids Through a Big Move?

What can we do to help our kids feel welcome and make friends in a new town? Margaret shares her own parenting tips for helping kids adjust after a big move.

A listener asks:

"We're about to move across the country and I'm wondering what are the steps we need to take to "make friends" and help the kids do the same. What are some ways you can suggest for them to "break into" the already formed groups that I'm sure their new schools will still have? Also, it will be a very strange dynamic because in the fall, I will have one in high school, one in middle, and one in elementary. Send help!"

Margaret suggests reaching out to the community you're moving to ahead of time and trying to make connections before you get there. Even just one person to talk to in your new hometown can be really helpful.

When it comes to your kids, find groups that they might want to be a part of, whether it's theater, soccer, or Scouts, and contact the leaders of those groups to tell them your kid will be coming. See if you can get one kid from that group over for a playdate in advance so your child has one familiar face to latch onto when they walk into their new school.

If you arrive during the summer before school starts, sign your kid up for the town camp or other camps with kids from the school district.

Lastly, check in with your kid (and yourself) at 3, 6, and 9 months out from the move. Assess how it's going for everyone and, if it's not going well, where you can redouble your efforts to make connections. It can take up to a year to feel fully rooted in a new place.

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