Validating Each Other When You Love Someone With BPD, w/ Dr. Kiki Fehling

At its core, validation is communicating to someone that their internal experiences and emotions make sense.

Dr. Kiki Fehling, PhD, (she/her) has always been a highly sensitive person. When she learned about DBT, it just clicked for her: "the practical coping skills... the focus on cultural and contextual factors in understanding emotional suffering, and the dialectical philosophy that both acceptance and change are needed for emotional health."

Kiki's content on TikTok and Instagram clicked for ME: especially the way she explained the Six Steps of Validation in DBT. I'm incredibly delighted to have spoken to her about it! This episode is a must-listen for those with BPD and their loved ones if you're asking yourself:

• How do I talk to my loved one with BPD?
• How do I navigate difficult conversations without escalating conflict?
• How do I learn to validate myself when other people cannot?
• How do I learn to validate myself if I keep wondering if I'm being irrational?

Six Steps of Validation, by @dbtkiki:

1. Pay Attention
2. Reflecting Back
3. Reading Minds
4. Understanding the Causes
5. Acknowledging the Valid
6. Showing Equality, aka. Radical Genuineness

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more by Dr Kiki: Website | Instagram | TikTok | X

Self Directed DBT Skills: A 3-Month DBT Workbook, by Kiki Fehling, PhD and Elliot Weiner, PhD

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DBT Self Help: Validation

Does Validating Condone Troubling Behaviour?

Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide

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Recorded with: Podcastle

Music by: ODDBAHL • Lunareh • Out of Flux

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My content is meant for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for professional clinical advice, diagnosis, or therapy.

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