Kink Doctor Dulcinea Pitagora on sex therapy, BDSM, and dominatrix work

“My specializations come from who I am. I’m a little unusual in the therapy field because I state very clearly what my identifications are. Which is that I’m kinky, and that I’m poly, and that I identify as queer, and that I’m gender fluid, and that I’m a former sex worker.” –Dulcinea Pitagora

Dulcinea Pitagora (@KinkDoctor) is a New York-based psychotherapist specializing in alternative sexuality. She is the host of the web series Kink Doctor.

In this episode of Deviate, Rolf and Dulcinea discuss the specifics of dominatrix work (2:00); the difficulties and hurdles involved with dominatrix and other sex work (25:00); Dulcinea’s personal path into sex work and sex therapy (31:00); sex therapy and alternative sexualities (47:00); and Fifty Shades of Grey and public perceptions of kink (1:00:00).

For more on Dulcinea, check out http://www.dulcineapitagora.com

Sex terms dicussed:

• Cisgender (gender identity)
• Non-binary/gender fluidity (gender identity)
• Pain play (sex practice)
• Role play (sex practice)
• BDSM/power exchange (sex practice)
• Vanilla (sex behavior)
• Kink (sex behavior)
• Safe word (BDSM communication)
• Fetish (sexual fixation)
• Polyamory (relationship practice)
• “Pegging” for straight men (Subreddit page, NSFW)

Other links:

• The Erotic Mind, by Jack Morin (book)
• Perv, by Jesse Bering (book)
• Modern Sexuality, by Michael Aaron (book)
• Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BSM Sexualities, by David Ortmann and Richard Sprott (book)
• Rewriting the Rules, by Meg John Barker (book)
• 50 Shades of Grey, by E.L. James (novel)
• Tristan Taormino (feminist author)
• Janet Hardy (sex educator)
• FetLife (social networking for kinky people)
• AltSex NYC (conference)
• Manhattan Alternative (sex-positive therapist coalition)

The Deviate theme music comes from the title track of Cedar Van Tassel’s 2017 album Lumber.

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