386. The Lost Art of Civility in a Divided World feat. Alexandra Hudson

What is the difference between politeness and civility? How do you show respect for others during difficult discourse instead of siloing yourself away in only like-minded company?

Alexandra Hudson is an author and writer of the book, The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves, and also the creator of the Civic-Renaissance newsletter. 

Alexandra and Greg discuss Alexandra’s views on civility and humanity. Alexandra also recounts the wisdom of historical figures like Augustine and Pascal, shedding light on the balancing act between self-interest and societal harmony and why civility remains crucial, even when it's challenging. This episode not only offers a profound examination of civility's role in healing society but also provides actionable insights for integrating these timeless principles into the fabric of everyday life. 

*unSILOed Podcast is produced by University FM.*

Episode Quotes:

Are we overdoing democracy?

38:36: I argue in the final chapter of my book [The Soul of Civility] that we've made idols out of democracy, out of public life, out of our national public discourse. When we have an unhealthy love, unhealthy addiction to something, we know that we've made idols. We have an unhealthy addiction to this because it's invaded all areas of our lives. Things that were historically apolitical now have a profound political dimension and valence to them, like sports, schools, and education, and what newspaper you read, what area of town you live in, all of these historically apolitical decisions now, like you can assess a person's political dimension based on these decisions. And we do that all the time. That's not good—not good for our souls, not good for democracy. Democracy is a beautiful, important, and wonderful thing, but there's such a thing as too much of a good thing, and we're overdoing democracy by making it part of every aspect of our lives, and we're undermining it as a result.

Civility is inherent good

04:15: We need to realize that even when the stakes are high, we still owe the other some basic baseline of respect. That is civility. Even when it might be costly to us and even when it's inconvenient, that's just the right thing. Inherently, that is the right thing to do. And it's an obligation we have.

The essential distinction between civility and politeness

19:21:  I also realized this essential distinction between civility and politeness. That politeness is manners; it's etiquette; it's technique; it's external. It's the stuff where civility is internal. It's the disposition of the heart. It's a way of seeing others as our moral equals who are worthy of respect. And crucially, sometimes respecting others requires being impolite, telling hard truths, and engaging in robust debate. 

What are the foundational questions you ask yourself to be considered truly educated?

44:51: This is the dialogue about foundational questions that every single human being should have the opportunity to ask and answer for themselves in order to be considered truly educated. Questions of origin, purpose, and destiny: Who are we? Why are we here? What is the best way to live? These are thoughtful questions that thoughtful people across history and culture have reflected on and offered answers to. And we do ourselves a profound disservice if we don't grapple with these questions in the context of how other thoughtful people before us have answered them.

Show Links:

Recommended Resources:

• Augustine of Hippo
• Sigmund Freud
• Blaise Pascal
• Chimera
• Ramayana
• Giovanni della Casa
• Petrus Alphonsi
• Distichs of Cato
• Alexander Pope
• George Bernard Shaw
• Slow Horses
• Robert D. Putnam
• Erasmus
• Hannah Arendt
• Alexis de Tocqueville

Guest Profile:

• AlexandraOHudson.com
• Faculty Profile from Indiana University
• Social Profile on X
• LinkedIn Profile

His Work:

• The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves
• Civic-Renaissance.com