357: The Pendulum of Work and Life - with Tiffany Cooley

Meet Tiffany

Tiffany is a mother of three, wife, content creator, forever sunkissed & CMO (Chief Marketing + Customer Officer) at Wantable. She has over 15 years of experience in marketing and retail. Prior to taking on her role at Wantable, Tiffany was the Vice President of Marketing for a large multi-billion dollar retailer before the age of 30. In addition, she’s had the opportunity to consult for Fortune 500 companies, helped lead several major retailers, and mentor teams across the country.

What's your vision for Wantable as a brand? How does that align with your personal brand?

Yeah, I was fortunate to get in, in managing and leading a number of teams at Wantable, about four years ago, we've definitely evolved in a brand and my perspective on branding is that it is a living, breathing thing that you consistently work on and evolve and elevate based on your customers because they're dynamic, and so forth. So where we are today is that we're here really to fuel self confidence in our customers. I've said this in many other spaces in many other conversations, but clothing and what you wear and what you put on is a material thing, but it's really the value that we create and how it makes you feel, finding the right fit, making sure that you feel confident and taking whatever it is in the world that you have to do that day, whether it's just running to the grocery store, doing chores, or, you know, going into the office and going into a big meeting. So how you look is how you feel on putting their confidence back in women's lives so that they feel ready to take on the day is something that we get behind and is our mission and brand purpose. How does that align with my personal brand? Well, I've always believed in confidence, you kind of have to look the part you have to like, walk the talk. I'm so bad with analogies but so I think that how it aligns with me is I am always looking to lift up others. It's why on the side, I started to get into some things on a personal level. That around life coaching and career coaching. So giving people confidence, that validation, just to make changes and feel good about what they're doing is something that I personally believe in as well.

Can you tell me how you approach building a successful team and good culture?

Yeah, I think this is probably a good spot to explain a little bit about Wantable. And why the unique business model that Wantable has has helped me build into some teams and get experiences that I've never had before. Wantable is I always say a cross between retail and relationship banking or insurance companies. It's really a relationship brand. We are a subscription try-before-you-buy retailer. So that is really different from my past retail experience where it's just kind of direct to consumer purchase online or purchase in a store. For that reason. We've got a service model and we have an E-commerce model. So as far as building teams, the cool part about what I've learned at Wantable, and what I've been able to take on as an executive there is building out teams from customer service to personal stylist to photo and creative and marketing. And also to some extent helping build out our engineering team and at times our merchandising team. So what I've learned, I guess, is that whatever the discipline is, there's always different types of people that you work with. Sometimes people are focused in a specialty or a specific area, and they really want to become a subject matter expert. And some people are really great at people management. What I found is that people earlier on in their career, or sometimes even mid career, feel like growth comes just from moving up. And it's like, oh, if I want to grow, I need to manage people, or I need to take on this leadership role. And then isn't what career growth always looks like, becoming a subject matter expert, and the best in a space can be just as rewarding and just as important and valuable to accompany as someone who's leading a team of 100 people. So really, I guess, you know, one of us in the business of personalizing, it aligns with how I personalize career development plans for my teams or anybody that I mentor, there really is identifying what's going on with an individual, what makes them passionate, what they get excited about to do everyday, and so forth. So that personalized approach, I think, helps get people to where they need to be when they're in a space, that they're confident, they love what they're doing. They're definitely more productive, the quality of work shows, and they get a little bit less of that, like emotional fatigue you have when you're trying to tackle things that are a little out of your comfort zone.

What advice would you give to women who are early in their careers and family life and are looking to, you know, make big strides?

Well, first, you're never gonna feel like it's balanced. So I'm sorry to say, there will never be a point where it's like, oh, my gosh, everything is perfectly falling into place, there's good, there's definitely going to be good days where you're like, Okay, I've got it. I'm like on point, I'm nailing it. I feel like I conquered the world today. And those days are amazing. But I feel like there's I kind of describe it a little bit like a pendulum, there are times in your life where you're going to be just pulled by the force of the universe, or like pulling you towards spending time with your family and really focusing on your kids. And my best advice is, when that is happening, go with it, don't fight it, you might feel guilty about work or your career. But you need to do that in order to unlock some things. On the career side, there are other times where that pendulum is gonna swing and you might need to put in more time or you may be pulled more to that adult interaction, the career, all the things that you know, that make you excited about your role or your profession or what have you. And again, same thing, there's always going to be the mom guilt, there will always be times when you're thinking I should be over here when I'm there. But I think not fighting it is one thing. But also finding creative outlets that content creation is something I'm passionate about, it may not necessarily be tied to the most important things that I need to do in my role as an executive. But when I'm home and I'm looking for, you know, something to energize me, that's something that I find exciting, and it's fun, and it's a creative outlet. I also find that based on some of the things that I can do, I can help out small businesses that are nonprofit and my kids’ school and the activities and clubs that they're in. So I do believe in kind of using some of those superpowers that you have as an individual to give back. And that's rewarding and fulfilling. So I think you can kind of get it all and you can have it all. You don't have to pick your kids. You don't have to pick your career. You can do it all if that's what you wish. But you definitely have to be open-minded and goal-oriented with whatever it is. If you're gonna say “I'm gonna be home for dinner every day and have a discussion with my children at the dinner table”, you have to commit to it just like you commit to going to a big meeting. So I think that's the best advice that I would give and then early on, just have grace. I mean, I hopefully you'll find it for anyone in that space. Like you'll find an employer that is open, you have leadership that's open and give grace to those things that come up. Kids' illnesses, being at soccer games, being at you know, whatever type of sports activity your children are in, and I think making sure you find an employer that aligns with that with those types of values is also super key.

On the theme of confidence, like I was talking about at the beginning, I mean, how many times have you been asked by maybe your boss or somebody important in a company, “have you seen my email?” and you kind of fake it and you feel guilty admitting you didn't. And I think that you know, especially with coming out of the 2010s, and how everything has changed, you've got chats, you've got emails, you have texts, you've got calls, you've got video calls and chats within the video calls. I mean, my gosh, being bombarded with so many things, so much more digital communication. And I think at one point, I was just like, You know what, I didn't see it, and it's okay. I am sorry, I didn't see that we're communicating and five different other chats and other places, or texts, or whatever the case is. And you have to be comfortable just saying, I am doing everything I can. I am enough. And yeah, like you said, it's just giving yourself grace and in that you're human, and there's only so much attention and bandwidth you have in a day.

Could you share one of your most successful or favorite networking experiences that you've had?

You know, I have to say, it's a little thing, a lot of people are probably expecting me to say this, like, some conference or this women's group I got involved in or, you know, just something really structured. And to be honest, I think that my philosophy on career growth kind of filters into this. It's all about initiative. And it really isn't a really big thing. It's a combination of a bunch of little things. So one thing that I did when I started Wantable and I have continued to do in the last four years I didn't do this is much in some of the other organizations that I worked in, which is you know, now looking back a little bit of a missed opportunity is just talking to people that you don't normally talk to so setting up a 15 minute touch base just saying like, Hi, how's it going? What's going on in your world? It could even be sending a note so I purchased from I forgot what paper store was this? I'm such a stationery junkie, I purchased this box of cards and it's like “send a card each week to someone that you haven't connected with”. It could be a family member, relative, coworker, past coworker. And so it's like little things like that have opened up these amazing conversations and new connections or revived connections that I just haven't had. So I feel like a lot of the stigma is, and going to this event, I'm joining this organization, I'm committee chair for this XYZ. And to me, some of the most valuable networking is done, you know, one on one, where you're just vulnerably sharing, “hey, I'm struggling with this topic, have you ever gone through it personally or professionally”, and just really kind of being present in the moment with a focus point on one person, and that has a compounding effect over, you know, 52 cards sent over the course of a year, you know, even if it's just one coffee date per month that you schedule, that's 12 people 12 connections that you've got any year, and then year after year, that really builds.

I love that, I think that's a great, fun way to stay in front of people. And the handwritten note is so powerful too. And you spoke to this earlier on how just the digital connectivity is amazing, but overwhelming at the same time, and that you get a piece of mail, that's not a bill or someone actually took the time to write a nice message to you.

Yeah, I feel like in companies, at times, it feels like there's silos between teams, or “oh, I don't normally talk to that person. So it'd be so weird to talk to them for 30 minutes, they're gonna think I'm, you know, investigating what's going on in their space”, especially if you're at a more senior level. But sometimes you really do get more information from somebody who might be to, you know, skip levels, or two levels down or in a different team and someone who's kind of more boots-on-the-ground. There's so many different types of connections that I have really valued, and they have come from some of the most unexpected relationships too.

How do you stay in front of them to best nurture your network?

That’s one, admittedly, I am not always the greatest at. So I'll share where I think there's a good opportunity, not necessarily something I'm good at. It's something actually that I'm really focused on. For this year, for example, I am really bad with keeping up with LinkedIn messages. Again, just that like digital overload, there's messages coming in from every social channel imaginable. So I have a concerted effort to try to, you know, just engage a little bit more in some of those networks and just kind of watch messages coming in. I think that's helpful. Because, again, there's sometimes unexpected opportunities or connections that come through that channel. The other thing is really just, everything is about balance. Like we were saying in the beginning, making sure that you're intentional to schedule that time, because it is the first thing that you will put off and I've been there, I do that. So I'm speaking firsthand, it's the first thing that's gotta go. Like, when you have a really busy week or a big project, you kind of go into survival mode, and it's like, feed my kids, get them to where they need to go, feed myself after that workout, if that's even an option. And then everything else kind of goes to the wayside after the to-do list. So I think if you are disciplined and schedule, okay, I'm going to just take 20 minutes a week, 10 minutes a day, whatever your schedule allows for and just do those check-ins. I think that's probably the best way. It can feel daunting if you don't do it for four months, and then all of a sudden, you're trying to catch back up and then all of a sudden, you're lost in three hours of messaging.

If you could go back to your 20 year old self, what would you tell yourself to do more or less of or differently with regards to your professional career?

Yeah. I would have told my 20 year old self to travel way more. Travel has a completely different lens when you're 20, single, with no children than when you're a consultant and you're in your 30s and you have children. The availability of the time to just extend a trip or get there early to explore different cities like that is the time so if you're in that space, 100% you need to be doing that. I would also say that, you know, in my 20s I feel like I was very career-focused, which was great, but I would also say make sure as you're working through all of the career things that you have goals and the side hustles, or whatever it is that you're striving for, make sure that you still carve time out to figure out who you are. I know a lot of people that I even coach and work with on my teams today, that you know, they're in their 30s. And they're like, I don't know who I am. And that's okay, we all go through that there are days where I don't know. But I think that I'm just taking that time to, like, take care of you and figure out what your passions and hobbies are. So that when you do have like crazy workloads, you have an outlet, connecting with friendships, so you have those long lasting friendships going into the next decades of your life, I think those are really important times where you're making some of your longest lasting friendships, you're building out some of the things that you're going to be doing for the rest of your life. So as much as you want to put everything into your career at that point, I think it's also really important to invest that much into taking care of yourself. And that includes exploring the world and traveling.

Oh, yeah, I have similar thoughts about that. I think. The more I explore, the more I realize there's more I want to explore. There's more I want to learn, there's more perspectives and experiences out there. And I can only imagine if I was when I was younger, if I was exploring to the depth that I want to be exploring now. Yeah, yeah, it's just the more experiences you have, the more perspective you have, the greater you appreciate other people's perspectives. And opinions, too.

I think that word perspectives is absolutely it, whether it's like you're traveling to a different country, and you get a different perspective on what we have, or you get a different perspective on other cultures, family values, and how that you know, that works. And you can, even in your own life and use some of those values that maybe you didn't have as clear of a sight into. So I think that cultural aspect, whether it's just in different ways, I mean, there's many cultures and cities, many cultures and businesses, many cultures, obviously, across the board or across the globe. So. So yeah, I think that perspective piece, like that's really, that's really key so that you can be grateful, and you can not just think about what you don't have or the things going wrong, that perspective just helps you have a little bit more of a positive outlook. And I've been doing a little bit of journaling lately, which is something I never did, up until recently. And it's just this five minute a day journal exercise. And I really do believe in that power of selective perception, you know, they say, if you're looking for this car, you're gonna see that car now. Yep, yep. If you're looking for the negatives, you will see the negatives everywhere. And the perspective piece is really helpful in gaining that gratefulness and positivity.

Creative solutions is what it's all about nowadays. How do you keep innovating to keep your business alive?

I told my team, like maybe it was two weeks ago. We work through just as a very data centric organization and test-and-react is kind of at the heart of anything we do, whether it's in merchandising or marketing or technology. When you're iterating, you're iterating on what worked. And sometimes now because of the dynamics of the labor market, or like you said, supply chain, like, you know, this is a time where, you know, you might normally operate in one to two deviations away from what works. Do we need to start trying something completely out of the box, a little bit more radical innovation? So if you were thinking like this is two deviations away from our norm, like, let's get to 10. Like, let's really do some creative thinking and do something a little bit more innovative. So we've been kind of operating with that mantra with a guardrail of “it must move the needle”. That's kind of one of the things: there are so many different things to try, and the dangerous space of innovation is you try a lot of things and you kind of end up at the same spot. So those are two things that we're using as kind of our North Star, if you will, through some of these times.

Connect with Tiffany

tiffany@spilledt.com

https://spilledt.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tiffanycooley/

https://twitter.com/_spilledt

https://www.facebook.com/spilledT.tiffany

Direct message on Facebook or Instagram to schedule a free 10-minute call about your career.