A Letter to the Mother Grieving Her Baby Who Died // Dr. Abigail Jorgensen

In this fifth episode of the Letters to Mothers season, we’re talking about mothering our babies who we’ve lost in miscarriage, still birth, and infant loss. Losing a child is heartbreaking and devastating. For mothers who lose a child before or shortly after birth, this grief comes with distinct, sudden, and difficult questions about God, the Church, and who they are now as parents to the child they have lost.

If you’re looking for a companion and guide through those har medical, theological, and practical questions, whether you’re a mother who has lost her baby or you’re a friend, family member, or medical professional who supports parents through that loss, this episode of the Letters to Women podcast with Dr. Abigail Jorgensen is for you.

Topics we cover:

• Abby’s story as as Catholic woman

• The origin story of Abby’s new book, A Catholic Guide to Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss: Compassionate Answers to Difficult Questions

• A brief overview of miscarriage, still birth, and infant loss, and what the postpartum experiences can look like for mothers in each experience

• Abby’s favorite question to ask her clients as a bereavement doula

• What the Catholic Church teaches us about our hope for Heaven for children we’ve lost through miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss

• How to grieve together and separately as loss parents

• How to wrestle with the reality that God is all powerful, all good, and yet our babies still die

• Whether or not you can flush during a miscarriage

• How Abby lives out the feminine genius in her ordinary life as a mother

Resources for you:

• Pick up a copy of Abby’s new book, A Catholic Guide to Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss

• If you want to learn more about Abby’s work as a sociologist, explore her website here

• If you want to learn more about Abby’s work as a Catholic bereavement doula, explore this website

• To discuss grief ministry training with Abby, reach out to her through Haven Bereavement Doulas

• Today’s episode is sponsored by Monks Bread - use the code LETTERS10 to save 10% at checkout

• Become a paid subscriber to Naptime Notes and get early, ad free access to all the Letters to Women episodes for just $5 a month

Discussion questions:

1. Have you lost a child through miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss? What has your experience of mothering your child or children who have died look like for you'?
   

2. How has losing a child through miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss impacted your relationship with the Lord? What are some moments of desolation and consolation you’ve experienced during the grieving process?
   

3. Have you felt angry at God during your grieving process? Have you felt guilt for feeling anger? How did hearing Abby share about allowing ourselves to grieve and be angry impact you?
   

4. Today, how are you parenting the child or children you’ve lost? What are some ways you can honor the memory of their short life here on earth while looking forward with hope to
   

5. What are some ways that you can support friends and family who are grieving the loss of their child? What does it look like as a Church and parish community to support grieving parents?