Cocaine Fort

- Three live shows announced, including a Carb Day trip to Indianapolis with Homefield Apparel (find out more at preownedairboats.com)

- An important update from a medical professional on the subject of injecting mashed potatoes into your circulatory system

- Nothing can stop Drake from his first love: shopping

- Briefly imagining Jerry Seinfeld at the Apollo 

- The difference between an irresponsible prediction and a bold one

- Spencer says this SEC team that won 10 games last season is only winning four this year

- Jason presents the most painful way Florida can wind up firing Billy Napier

- And other unhinged suggestions from readers like you

- This week's theme song arranged and performed by Becca Lynch

- Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyi

- Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dare

- Listen to Ryan and Surber's other podcast, We're Not All Like This, wherever finer podcasts are placed

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