5. 4 Pro-Tips For Powerful Accountability

SHOW NOTES

Welcome to episode #5! In this episode, Matt and Braden discuss the misconceptions that we can have regarding accountability and give 4 pro-tips for you to have powerful and effective accountability.

Here is a brief summary of the episode.

Accountability is key if we want freedom!
We need accountability to move towards healing and away from addiction. The shame and lies that porn use breeds work against us by keeping us from deep relationships with others. Powerful accountability is how we move away from isolation so that we surround ourselves with a community that helps us break the chains of addiction.

Accountability needs to be properly implemented!

One of the reasons why accountability tends to not work is that we don't understand how to properly implement it in our lives. This leads to frustration and thoughts like, "I tried it and it didn't work." This leads to becoming jaded towards accountability. 

Tip # 1: Find a Model, not a Mirror
One of the reasons we become frustrated with accountability is that we look for the wrong people to help us. This usually occurs when we find an accountability partner who is also struggling with porn. This is a problem because the fellow 'struggler' doesn't have firsthand knowledge about how to break free, so they can't help us in making a game-plan towards getting porn out of our lives. We need to find someone who is free from addiction because they know what it takes to get there, having already gone on their own journey to healing and freedom. We need to find a model - someone who is free that we want to become like! 

Tip # 2: Empty the Suitcase

Telling the truth and sharing our 'full life disclosure' is an important part of healing. If we keep secrets and don't share the full story, we are holding back and won't experience true healing and freedom. We have to release the grip that the lies and addiction have on us by being open and specific. Powerful accountability partners will help us see our blind spots and help us unpack our lives in a way that we can learn from. Having this greater understanding about why we have porn in our lives will help us know the steps we need to take because we'll better understand the problem we are dealing with.

Tip #3: Use Someone Else's Muscles!
When we have porn in our lives, the very real temptation is to try and deal with it on our own. We want to beat the addiction ourselves instead of exposing it and bringing other people in to our lives to help us. But the truth is, we don't have the strength to overcome it on our own. Addiction isn't something that we can beat on our own because that is not the way that God designed healing. Healing is a relationship-based process. Inviting others into the journey and leaning on God to get porn out of our lives are absolute necessities. We can't do it alone!

Tip #4: Partner with Software
Software is intended to be a tool used with powerful accountability. It is important as it gets us in the game. It gets you started on your journey to freedom and makes access to porn more difficult. It creates a physical and mental obstacle that slows down our thoughts at a time when our emotions are taking over. Establish in your thinking to view accountability software as a partner in your journey, rather than an obstacle that you're going to get around. It represents a choice that you are making to get help, to get healing, and to get porn out of your life. Determine in your mind that when you see the app on your device, it triggers a thought in your mind that says 'I am getting free, this reminded me that I need to go do...(something else)." It is also great for helping your accountability partner know what you are looking at and helps them understand your patterns.

Accountability software we recommend: https://www.covenanteyes.com
* Use this promo code for 1 FREE month of Covenant Eyes: RM30

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Next week, Matt and Braden will invite their first guest onto the show! Mary Derkson shares the unique experiences she encountered as a woman finally confessing a secret porn addiction.

Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Covenant Eyes Free E-book, 'Hobbies and Habits'

Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.