4. The Lies That Keep Us Hooked

SHOW NOTES

Welcome to episode #4! In this episode, Matt and Braden discuss the different lies that can dominate our thoughts and outlook when struggling with addictions like pornography. 

Here is a brief summary of the episode.

Lie # 1: "It's not that bad."

This is one of the lies we tell ourselves to minimize the issue and make us feel "better" by ignoring the issue at hand. It stops us from truly moving forward and getting help. Instead, we stay stuck in our destructive patterns because we have buried our heads in the sand. If you're telling yourself this lie, you may want to take 30 minutes to pray and write a list of things that your addictive behaviour is costing you.

Lie #2:  "It's too bad...I'll never be free."
Contrary to the Lie #1, this lie magnifies the issue. Believing the lie that the issue is too big to ever conquer keeps us stuck and beaten down. It creates a defeatist attitude that stops us from having urgency around our issue and reaching out for help. 

Lie #3: "It doesn't effect anyone but me."

One of porn's big lies is that it is a hidden sin that doesn't hurt anyone except the person viewing it. This is not true because it isn't a victimless behaviour. It hurts you and your loved ones and it negatively effects your current and future relationships. Along with that, consuming porn content tells the porn producer to keep on creating content that is degrading and horrible for the actors on camera to be a part of.

Lie #4: "One more time won't hurt me."
One big lie is that acting out "just one more time" isn't that big of a deal. However, each time we view porn, we become more inclined to view it again because it is so highly addictive and creates neurological and emotional patterns that are now even more ingrained in us. This makes breaking free from our patterns that much harder than it already was.

Lie #5: "I look at porn because I have sexual needs that aren't being met."
Sex isn't a need! Needs are air, water and food; things that keep us alive. God did give us sexual urges so that we can learn to control our bodies in a way that honours Him. We are better off when we learn to deal with our urges in a healthy way - not through turning to porn or casual sex for relief.

Lie #6: "I look at porn because I am a victim."
We all have hurt and pain in our lives, some much more so than others. But when we take on the identity of a victim, we can never move away from destructive patterns because we are giving power to the things or people that hurt us. Instead, we need to choose to heal from those experiences and move away from victimhood. God calls us "More than conquerors," which is the exact opposite of being a victim.

Lie #7: "Porn can be beaten on my own."
Part of the reason why porn is so destructive is that it is often hidden. Shame and pride tell us to keep it hidden so that we never have to put up with feeling inadequate or judged around other people. However, God's design is that healing can be found only in community and He doesn't intend for us to beat this battle on our own. 

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Next week, Matt and Braden will be sharing Four Pro-Tips for Powerful Accountability. Don't miss this episode as it will provide important understanding to what good accountability is - and what it isn't!

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Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.