RE 94: Alcohol Abuse Isn't a Character Issue? You Don't Say...

John with 17 years of sobriety and Adrianne with 11 years, share how they did it. This is their story... SHOW NOTES According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is a brain disorder, not a behavioral problem.  This is nothing new so why are we still talking about it?  Probably because even though society is starting to finally believe that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, the stigma attached to addicts remains the same.  Wake up people!  The studies have shown that addiction can be defined as a primary disease, not an emotional or psychological problem.  Our brains become rewired and our choice to pick up flies right out the window when we are in active addiction.  Our real choice happens when we reach out for help.  It is never too early to reach out. [ 8:27 ] Paul Introduces John and Adrianne, authors of The Painting and the Piano. John, sober since 1/5/99 and Adrienne, sober since 7/11/05 currently live in Florida.  For the past 3 years they have been working on their story of survival and love.  Their book, The Painting and the Piano is like a divine intervention of how they first met and their lives together through the recovery process.  John feels that they were chosen to get sober and to pass this on to others. [ 17:00 ] What was your bottom? Adrianne – my daughter had to go to the ER after an accident at school.  I stopped home before going to the hospital in order to get my pills.  I didn’t know how long I would be at the hospital with her and was afraid I would be sick without my pills.  My need for the drugs was more powerful than getting my injured child to the ER. John – driving out of my driveway and seeing my 2 small children looking through the window at me.  I knew I was leaving to get another drink and going to have a possible affair.  I left anyway and that memory still haunts me of their faces.  Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an 80 year old man looking back was another bottom.  I had 3 DWI’s, was losing my business, my friends and was drinking around the clock without bothering to eat. [ 20:11 ] Do you feel that you can skip any steps in the recovery process? Adrianne – No, all of the steps you go through were meant to happen and lead you towards your bottom.  This needs to happen. John – Everyone’s bottom is different and how we get there is also different. [ 23:00 ] John talks about patience Take time in your relationships.  Advised to wait for 1 year before dating.  Patience is super important.  Let patience be your virtue.  12 steps should be looked at as an opportunity for personal growth [  26:53 ] What is on your bucket list for sobriety? John and Adrianne – this book, educating others on the steps and the AA culture, doing more podcasts, and helping as many people recover as possible. Adrianne – I would also love to work in the judicial system.  There are so many children that are pulled from dysfunctional homes, only to be placed back in them too soon. John – I believe that 95% of our issues go back to some type of childhood trauma. So what happened to privileged Paul C who grew up in Vali Colorado?  Hmmm, might have to think that one over a bit. [  30:00 ] Adrianne shares about her physical pain I was born addicted to heroin.  Later on after years of back pain, I became addicted to pills.  All of the surgeries lead to harder addictions.  It was a perfect storm of the emotional “F it’s” [ 34:14  ] What advice would you give your younger selves? Adrianne – stay off the pity pot! John – there is no shame in asking for help.  Do it now.  Change 1 thing every day. [ 38:25  ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Adrianne – When I stopped home before going taking my daughter to the hospital in order to get my pills.  John – the memory of my children’s faces as I drove out of the driveway on my way to drink Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Adrianne – breaking down in front of my counselor and realizing I had a problem.  John – drinking in the mornings just to stop the shakes What’s your plan moving forward? Adrianne – continue to be of service.  John – reaching just 1 person, paying it forward. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Adrianne – don’t be afraid to ask for help.  John – stick around for the miracle Resources mentioned in this episode: www.paintingpiano.com www.asam.org Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator. Promo Code: Elevator recoveryelevator.com/survey Sobriety Tracker Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com “We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”