S3 Ep135: Minimizing the Monotony of Monogamy: How relationships change over time with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

When there is a lack of lust decades into an otherwise loving marriage or relationship, many, if not most, women assume their indifference to sex is a result of declining hormone levels and that a prescription for estrogen, testosterone or a libido enhancing drug will re-light the flame. A plunge in hormones can be part of the problem, and sometimes a trip to the pharmacy will help, but there are a lot of other reasons that have nothing to do with hormones or menopause that impact on keeping that sexual spark alive. 
In this episode, I am joined Dr. Alexandra Solomon, the author of Loving Bravely, Taking Sexy Back, and her latest book, Love Every Day- 365 relational self-awareness practices, to help your relationship heal, grow and thrive. 

• Is the MONOTONY of monogamy inevitable? 
• What is “RELATIONAL SELF AWARENESS”?
• What is UNPACKING and why is it important?
• Tips to CONFLICT RESOLUTION as opposed to conflict escalation? 
• What if you are in a good place in terms of love and intimacy, but are worried about losing that connection over time? 
• Why it is important to understand your PARENTS relationship to have better adult relationships
• LEAVE the relationship or FIX the relationship? 
• What if you “love them” but are not “In love with them?”  
• What do you tell women when it comes to LIBIDO DRUGS to reignite the spark?
• Why women are often resistant to SEX THERAPY?
• How past sexual TRAUMA can inform current sexual experiences, and how to reclaim pleasure

Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon is internationally recognized as one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework for Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe. A couples therapist, speaker, author, and professor, Dr. Alexandra is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tools people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is a clinician educator and a frequent contributor to academic journals, and she translates her academic and therapeutic experience to the public through her popular Instagram page, which has garnered over 220k followers. She is on the faculty in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, reaches tens of thousands of listeners across the globe each week and features deep dives into complex relationship dynamics as well as conversations with high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. 

Dr. Alexandra Solomon
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/
Dr. Solomon's Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
 Loving Bravely by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
https://bookshop.org/books/loving-bravely-twenty-lessons-of-self-discovery-to-help-you-get-the-love-you-want/9781626255814
Taking Sexy Back by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
https://bookshop.org/books/taking-sexy-back-how-to-own-your-sexuality-and-create-the-relationships-you-want/9781684033461
Reimagining Love, Dr. Solomon's podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386
Love Every Day
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Every-Day-Self-Awareness-Relationship/dp/1683736532


For more information on this topic: 

Episode 8: When Painful Sex Leads to Problem Relationships  with Dr. Sheryl Kingsberg
Episode 10: Dating After 50- Make it Awesome Not Awful- With Bela Gandhi
Episode 20:  Is non-monogamy having a moment? With Dr. Wednesday Martin
Episode 41 Why Men go Missing in Bed with Dr. Stephen Snyder 
Episode 54 What Happens During Sex Therapy with Rachel Zar 
Episode 89  Faking Orgasm with Rachel Zar
Episode 115 “Do You Have Good Sex? A visit with Dr. Ruth 

 Slip Sliding Away: Turning Back the Clock on Your Vagina-A gynecologist’s guide to eliminating post-menopause dryness and pain

Dr. Streicher’s Inside Information podcast is not intended to replace medical advice and should be used to supplement, not replace, care by your personal health care clinician. Dr. Streicher disclaims liability for any medical outcomes that may occur because of applying methods suggested or discussed in this podcast.

Lauren Streicher, MD is a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, and the founding medical director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause. She is a certified menopause practitioner of The Menopause Society. 

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Dr. Streicher is the medical correspondent for Chicago’s top-rated news program, the WGN Morning News, and has been seen on The Today Show, Good Morning America, The Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN, NPR, Dr. Radio, Nightline, Fox and Friends, The Steve Harvey Show, CBS This Morning, ABC News Now, NBCNightlyNews,20/20, and World News Tonight. She is an expert source for many magazines and serves on the medical advisory board of The Kinsey Institute, Self Magazine, and Prevention Magazine. She writes a regular column for The Ethel by AARP and Prevention Magazine. 

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Books by Lauren Streicher, MD

 Slip Sliding Away: Turning Back the Clock on Your Vagina-A gynecologist’s guide to eliminating post-menopause dryness and pain

Hot Flash Hell: A Gynecologist's Guide to Turning Down the Heat

Sex Rx- Hormones, Health, and Your Best Sex Ever

The Essential Guide to Hysterectomy

Come Again! A Guide to Midlife Libido and Orgasm  (available for pre-order) 

To Find a Menopause Clinician

Episode 46 Finding a Menopause Clinician Who Will Listen

Midi Health  joinmidi.com
Midi Health is a telehealth company that provides high level menopause care and also takes insurance in all 50 states. Dr. Streicher is Midi’s Medical Director of Education and Community Outreach and is familiar with their medical protocols, which are all regularly updated and set by the top academic menopause experts in the country. 

The Menopause Society- Certified Menopause Practitioner List Menopause.org
To find a menopause practitioner: https://portal.menopause.org/NAMS/NAMS/Directory/Menopause-Practitioner.aspx
Put in your zip code and designate NCMP or CMSP to get a certified menopause practitioner. While all people on this list have passed a competency examination, Dr. Streicher does not vouch for every one of these clinicians. Most are excellent. 

Major Medical Centers
It also may be helpful to check with major medical centers in your area. Many have menopause clinics or lists of doctors that have an interest and expertise in menopause. 
If you are in the Chicago area, the center founded by Dr. Streicher: 
The Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause Sexmedmenopause.nm.org

Menopause Masterplan Sessions.

Dr. Streicher offers one on one and group informational and educational Menopause Masterplan sessions. 
For more information: https://www.drstreicher.com/menopause-master-plan