Dougal Sutherland: The more you connect, the less you connect!

The more you connect, the less you connect! 

Over recent years explosion of technology has helped us increase our connection with others, both in local communities and around the world. Many positives come from increased social connection, but one downside is when connecting with people outside the home leads you to “phub” significant people in the home, particularly your partner. 

Phubbing = phone + snub. It’s where your focus on connecting via your phone causes you to snub people in your immediate surrounds. Often occurs with a partner. 

Partners can play a crucial role in our wellbeing including helping with better work-life balance and wellbeing. 75% of people choose to share their emotional struggles with their partner as the first port of call. Partners are usually the most available people in our home life too. Good partner support is also associated with our own career success.   

On the other hand, phubbing has been linked to poorer quality of relations with partner, and lowered sense of self-esteem in the partner. 

 

What can people do about it? 

It’s not about throwing the baby out with the bathwater – it’s still important to connect with work colleagues and share work-related stressors with them. 

Wherever you are – be there! If you’re at work, connect with people at work. If you’re at home, connect with people at home. 

Set some limits around use of phones in your relationship e.g. no phones during dinner, not using phones after a certain time at night, not using them in bed. 

Workplaces also have a role to play in this by setting appropriate expectations around replying to emails, messages, etc., out-of-hours. Hard to be present with your partner if your boss is messaging you demanding an immediate response! 

 

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