How to Pick a Coach

About This Episode So, you’re ready to engage with a coach. Awesome! But there are SO many different coaches out there. How in the world do you choose? Lisa and Brea are here to help clear through the confusion and get you on the right path. 

This episode is all about how to choose the coach that’s right for you, right now. Listen in as Brea & Lisa discuss what to look for in a coach, the different types of coaches available, the importance of finding a good fit, and more. If you're considering working with a coach, this episode will give you some great insights and advice. Check it out!

Work With Us!

If you need a Strengths Hype girl, for yourself or your team, connect with BREA at brearoper.com. Whether you bring her in to deliver a keynote, training, or workshop… or, you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts… Brea’s ready to create a custom solution for any need, any budget.

To work with LISA, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.

Takeaways

Not all coaches are created equal: For as many different reasons you might hire a coach, there are different types of coaches out there. Just like an athlete might have several types of coaches for different needs, understanding the different types of professional coaches will help you pick the one for you.

1. Finding the right ‘fit’ is super important: Connecting with a coach is essential for your success. Look for a coach who aligns with your personality and communication style. Inquire about their coaching style and approach. If you’re a coach, remember – assessing fit goes both ways. The most successful coaching relationships are ones where there’s a mutual fit.
2. The role of a coach: A good coach will act as a mirror, reflecting back what they see and hear. This can help you observe your own brain and identify patterns you may not be able to see on your own. A strengths coach will do this with a unique focus on what’s already strong in you.

Take Action

• Reflect on Your Needs: Begin with the end in mind. Think about where you are now, where you want to go, and what you need to get there. What do you want to achieve through coaching? Do you prefer a coach who provides direct advice or one who helps you observe your own thought patterns? What type of coach will best support your goals?
• Schedule a Discovery Call: Take the first step by scheduling a discovery call with a potential coach to assess fit and understand their coaching style.

Let’s Connect!

LISA Website | LinkedIn | Facebook

BREA: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram

 

Remember, you already have everything you need to succeed! Sometimes, you just need a coach to help you see it. 🌟Reach out to a coach today!

 

AI-Generated Transcript

Lisa

Hi, I'm Lisa. 

Brea

And I'm Brea 

Lisa

And today's topic is how to pick a coach. 

Brea

How do you pick a coach? Oh, man. What a great question.

Lisa

I know it makes it makes me go in a lot of angles. And the first one is so many people I run into don't even know what a coach is. Of course, they know what a basketball coach is. And when you get into our world of strengths coaching, they're often thinking strengths and conditioning coaching for sports. And then what about the rest? 

And I want to hear your opinion, Brea. For me, I think there are a lot of kinds of coaches. Of course, people have heard of a life coach. Maybe people have heard of a CliftonStrengths coach because of our world. But then also, I think of other categories like a position coach would be in sports. So if you were on a basketball team, would you have a position coach for a forward? 

Or would you have a strength and conditioning coach more for other elements of the game? So I think that is important. You could have a business coach, you can have an entrepreneurial coach, you could have a position coach who's actually been an expert in a role that you've been in, then you can have a mindset or growth coach kind of person who helps you observe your brain. 

You could have an accountability coach. You could have a mentor coach who's been there, done that, and they're more advicey, whereas most coaches are going to be asking you the questions so that you can make the self-discovery.  

But that's not all there is in coaching. So once your experience, when you think about things like, what even are the genres of coaches that are available out there to people in the world beyond sports. 

Brea

Yeah. Oh my gosh. I'm imagining myself as the person looking for a coach and I'm already scared. My head is already spinning. There are so many options and I don't know where to start. And what even is coaching and what do I expect? And it's a lot of money and is it going to work? 

I'm excited that we're having this conversation. I like the role coach. I see a lot of people that come in for that. They're in a new position at work. Maybe they just got a promotion or they're trying to get a promotion or they are in a managerial role, let's say, and so they want to be coached on how to be a better manager. 

Or maybe it's a parent who comes to me and says, hey, I have been pretty good at parenting up until this point. And then I had this other kid and like, wow, they are very different than me. And I just like the way I've disciplined the other kids not working anymore. What do I do? So whatever the role is, I think I see a lot of people that that come for that. Yeah.

Lisa

Yeah, I think that's great. And the same thing that you just described with parents, it happens with managers all the time where they say, Hey, I had this team and we were amazing together. And then these two people came in or something happened to someone on the team and everything changed. 

And I just can't get that feeling that I'm a good leader anymore. What's going on and taking that next level. And your growth. So I think what that brings me to is the idea that if you can pick a problem to work on, or a challenge to work on, even if that challenge is, Hey, I want to become a great leader. Or let's say you have something in your mindset - there's some narrative that comes on replay. 

I had one recently where a guy was like, “I'll never make over $100,000.” And he, he caught himself and said, “I don't know why that story replays in my head.” Those are great things to get a coach for, because they can help you get in there and get that out of there. But they help you observe your brain like that. Or something really specific you want to do really well at, like you said, come into the new job and do really great and get results. 

Anytime you have that challenge, obstacle or that next level you're trying to reach, aiming the coaching experience at something specific, I think, to your point about it being an investment, that's where you're going to tell the coach what you're wanting to get out of it so that you're aiming them at where they're taking the questions and the process. 

And then also, you're more likely to know whether you got something out of it, because it's not just a nebulous conversation about nothing. It is really directed at something you want to achieve. How do you view that when it comes to picking a CliftonStrengths coach?

Brea

Yeah, I mean, you're right. So many people think of life coaching. It's such a vague place to be. What are we going to even talk about? How are they going to help me? And yeah, so bringing your own problem or just your aspiration.

 I love working with people who have a specific challenge that they're trying to hit. How can we use your strengths to do this and do this successfully and with excellence and ease and enjoyment and all the things. I also really, really love working with people who are absolutely crushing it at work and at life or whatever. 

And they're like, gosh, this is going really great. How can I get more? How can I get more of this awesomeness? And as strengths coaches, we can do that. And I think there are many different kinds of coaches out there who can do that. So yes, it might be a problem. It also might be that you want to continue to grow in whatever way. 

Lisa

Yeah, I think that's big because those are also people who are more likely to want to hire a coach, the ones who are always trying to uplevel, always trying to grow, always trying to become a better person or more of who they can be. Or even just the dreamers who say, I have this big aspiration and no one around me gets it. 

And either I get made fun of or no one understands. I just need someone to talk these kind of things through so that I can be my own compass instead of getting kind of slung around by the people around me and the reactions of people around me. 

I think it's a nice way for people in that situation to upgrade their peer group, so to speak, by finding a CliftonStrengths coach and having someone around them who really believes in them, often more than the coachee believes in themselves. 

Brea

I love that. Earlier you were talking about limiting beliefs. We all have them. We're all working to overcome them. But to have a coach who actually has your best interest at heart, they really want you to win. I think that's what the best coach brings is they want you to win - whatever that means for you. 

That's all they want. They're not there with their own agenda. I've had some people come to me and they say, what can, what can I expect from coaching? You know, what's the outcome here? And my answer is always, well, what do you want? What do you want to get? Where do you want to go? That's for you to decide. 

If you can ask yourself that question and get really clear and bring that to your coach and say, look, Here's where I am today. Here's where I want to go. Then it's the coach's job to help you get there. That's it. And a lot of times what ends up happening, at least in my experience, I don't know, Lisa, if this is how you coach as well, but sometimes what people come in with we discover is not actually the real thing.

There's usually something underneath the thing that is getting in the way or a limiting belief they may not even know they have. And so a good coach is, of course, going to be listening to what you ask for and also listening to what you're saying that you may not even know yourself and be able to reflect that back to you. 

It's good to have that expectation up front and to be open to there being something more - that maybe neither of you are seeing at the beginning.

Lisa

I love that point and how what it makes me think of is how so often, they'll come in with one thing. And then they're in the middle of the third call in, and they say, “Oh my gosh, I'm so frustrated with my mother in law right now.” And they're, they're talking about something that is totally off the path of where you've gone before, and they've come to you to help them get promoted in their leadership position. 

So they think it's off the table and they come in and they're saying, “Oh, my mother-in-law.” And then you say, Okay, and you help them step through what they can control, and how they're showing up in the situation. And they realize they can't change another person. And they would never expect that through your coaching conversation with them, where you can't coach the mother-in-law who's not there, and you can't control a third person's behavior. 

So if you help them see how they can show up in a situation and potentially change everything, both about how they view that person, how they decide to show up, and then they realize, Whoa, a coaching relationship, this could be anything, my mind's exploding. It doesn't have to be the thing I hired you for. It doesn’t have to be CliftonStrengths every time. I can change my mind three minutes before our call. 

I can talk about anything in life and you can help me up level and observe my own brain and see my patterns that affect the way my thoughts and feelings and reactions cascade through all of that. I think that's such a cool element of coaching that a lot of people discover. But now I'm going down a rabbit hole of what happens after you pick a coach. Can we back up to where you were going? 

Okay, you were getting down the idea of fit. And I would like to bring up the fact that most coaches will do discovery calls with you. So you can assess the fit with each person before you ever engage in the the money exchange - before you're ever actually engaged as a coach. 

As a professional coach, Brea, they're calling you. What do you hope they'll ask you? What would you advise them to be thinking of and going through when they're assessing fit with someone?

Brea

Well, gosh, this feels a little bit like one of my favorite movies of all time, The Wizard of Oz. I feel like the wizard, the man behind the curtain. I'm going to lift the curtain a little bit to what it's like on the coach's side. I'm actually assessing fit with the person on the other end of the call as well. So, I think the fit goes both ways, and personality is a huge part of that. Just like when you meet someone on the street, you're going to know how you feel with that person.

Can you communicate easily and freely? Are the questions that you're asking being heard? Are you being listened to? Sometimes there are really great coaches out there that just have a different personality, different communication style, or for whatever reason, it's just not a good fit.

And communication is key in life, but especially when it comes to coaching. So find someone that you feel safe with, someone that you feel like, I can talk about anything, right? You feel free and safe and heard. For me, that's, that's what I look for in a coach. And that's what I hope to provide to the people that I coach. 

Lisa

Yeah, I mean it really does say it all. I think of it pretty simply too, just do you like them? Yeah. Do you respect them? If you totally don't respect them and they're saying things or even asking you questions, And it's in a way that you can't receive them, even if they're good questions for someone else, but they're not for you, then maybe you're not for each other right now. 

So that “style fit” to me, it's absolutely so important. I think that fit is important in all the ways. Even my replacement for the concept of selling is just like assessing fit. It's same goes for workshops, the same goes for coaching for any of those. Relationships, are we good for each other? And you want both parties to get something out of it. 

You want the person making the investment, the coachee, to say, Oh, my gosh, these hours change my life hour by hour, this is more than worth it. And you want the coach to feel enriched and growing and invested. And you want that to be mutual, a mutual benefit. And I love exactly what you said. And I also think that once you choose, it doesn't mean you chose. We said in the title, how to pick a coach. 

And I really specifically didn't say how to pick THE CliftonStrengths coach, because you might have a lot of coaches over time. You might go for a group coaching versus a one-on-one at some point. I'm a variety gal. I've had lots of coaches. I love having lots of different coaches. I don't think I've ever had more than five sessions with the same person. And it's not because a single person isn't adding value, but I guess in a group program I have. 

But outside of that, as in a one-on-one, I like the variety of how other people can observe my brain and bring different things to me. And then I start to see trends like, oh, this person's reflecting it back to me. So did two coaches ago. So did one coach ago. And they've said it in really different ways. And it helps me personally grasp it more deeply. 

And I think if I had the same person, I might not have understood it in a way that I could actually make the change. So I happen to be a variety gal, and I'm not in it looking for a marriage. So how do you handle that, Brea? Long-term, group, one-on-one, how do you look at all of that?

Brea

Yeah, I think same. I mean, I've had so many coaches over the years, and even at the same time, it's kind of like the friends that are in my life. I go to certain people for certain things. If I need someone to tell me exactly what's up, I want them to hurt my feelings. I don't want a yes man. I know who to go to for that. 

If I need someone to help me think creatively, then I might go to someone else. And I have coaches that fit those different boxes. So again, begin with the end in mind, right? Know what it is that you're looking for, know what it is that you need to grow, and that will help you choose which coach you want. 

But also, maybe you're high in CliftonStrengths Relator and you need to build that relationship over time. Maybe you want someone who you can build a coaching relationship with. Then there are coaches who also love to do that, and they want to stick with you for the journey. 

There are other coaches like Lisa and myself who are like, Hey, show up for one time, and we'll just go with what we've got and see you later. Bye. You know? So again, knowing what you want to get out of it, I think is super important.

Lisa

Yeah, and what you just brought up, that's another fit element. I do that often. I have this get coached link on my site. I don't require a discovery call. I don't require a bunch of backstory. I don't require an ongoing relationship. I'll just do a one off and a whole lot of coaches don't or won't because there's a whole relationship thing that can go along with it that really enriches it. 

That that's a unique thing that you just drop in and get a coaching session. And a lot of CliftonStrengths and life coaches wouldn't like that. And a lot of coaches wouldn't get out of it with what they're hoping for. So that's another one, just the offering. 

You know how I was talking about genre of coach - position coach, mindset coach, accountability coach, mentor coach…and then you layered in this thing about how you want that person to help you think. You know, do you need someone to take you in a creative angle? Do you need someone to be straight with you and call you on your BS? 

I love that angle as well. There are all these filters and questions you can ask yourself. And sometimes even what you might prefer isn't what you need. And I thought that was interesting, as you were talking. Yeah, so okay, sometimes what I prefer isn't what I need. So what I prefer isn't someone who is slow and present, but is what I need, and is how I grow. 

When I'm in the vetting process as a coachee, I try to make myself aware of that - where the person I need isn't necessarily the person I love being around the most. I love when coaches are super direct with me. I enjoy a quick answer, a quick-witted person. I appreciate advice. And then also, that may not be what I need. 

A lot of times I need a coach who sits there with a lot of silence and asks you a question. And if you sit for 15 seconds, not answering. They will just sit there with you. Let your mind work. And let me get present with my challenge. Let me get into it instead of the surface level responses that we want to give. I mean, it's probably a coach joke at this point that people say, well, I don't know. And then coaches will say, if you did know.

Brea

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was, oh man, the worst fit for me is to go to a coach and be like, I'm stuck here. I don't know where to go. And they're like, well, what do you think you should do? And I'm like, I don't know. That's why I'm here. 

Lisa

And those are sometimes things like, could you figure that out before going in? Well, now that you heard Brea and I say that example, maybe, maybe, you know, and that'll be part of your question and your discovery. But those are all different styles. 

Sometimes it just unfolds after you've had a call or a few with a person where you understand their questioning techniques and how they help you observe your brain. 

So just know those things about yourself:

·      What do you like?

·      What's your approach?

·      What do you value?

·      What do you jive with?

·      Are you willing to make an investment in one or three sessions to see what you think? 

How do you approach all of that?

Brea

I think this is a really good, really good point is how unregulated, is that the right word? This industry is. And the word coach means something different to every coach who calls themselves a coach, okay? So it's important to get good, clear communication before you enter into that coaching relationship just to better understand what it is that we're talking about. 

Because, yeah, maybe someone calls themselves a coach, but they approach it more as a mentor, where they're saying, I've done this before, you know, I'm a little bit further down the road, let me help you and mentor you in your journey. Or they're a consultant or an advice giver, right? And they want to come with suggestions of what to do, and they're going to tell instead of ask, you know? And all those things are fine, right? 

Maybe someone wants to teach, you know, there's so much teaching that is possible, especially when it comes to strengths, you know, that understanding our strengths and bringing awareness, maybe that's the coach's specialty. So just know that the word coach doesn't always mean the same thing. And it's good to get clear on what you want and also what the coach brings to see if there's there's that fit.

Lisa

Yes, I love that. As you were describing that, it was making me think of, now I'm not a golfer, so hopefully I won't get any of this wrong, but I imagine how growing up in sports, we always watched film. So you watch the videos back of yourself playing. And it's a way for you to observe yourself the way the coaches did. 

I mean, coaches would come to you and they would see trends in your biomechanics or in something about you and they could come back and raise the issue, whether it's causing an issue in your performance now, or maybe it's going to create an issue in your body later if you keep operating your body with that motion. So I think about something like a mechanics review that would happen in golfing. 

And this idea of watching back video of your swing is kind of like what happens with a coach in our world because a coach is being the video. They're hearing things replayed back. They're hearing patterns in your language as the coachee. 

They're hearing narratives that you can't see because you're so close to them. And then they can replay the video back for you, metaphorically, because they're just reflecting it back to you with a different light and a different lens. 

They're helping you see your brain in action. And I think people can really relate to that. So if you're a listener and you've never had a CliftonStrengths coach or a coach of any kind, I think that's a good way to view it. 

That is a role that a coach plays that you really can't play on your own. I mean, you can be very self-aware. And we do some self-coaching, of course, as humans who are trying to grow. But you get a third party in there who can observe your brain and believe in you and your potential. 

You put those two things together, and you bring the questions that come forward and the conversations that come forward in those coaching calls. And that's where your life can really start to shift in big ways and much faster than you could ever do on your own. How does that resonate with you, Brea?

Brea

Totally. I actually have a client and a friend who, a client who's become a friend, who always says, if you want to get there fast, go alone. If you want to get further, go with someone. I think a coach can help you get further faster.

Lisa

Now, Brea, if they want to go further faster with a CliftonStrengths coach and they want to work with you after hearing all this today, tell them how to work with you.

Brea

Well, go to my website and schedule a call. I'd love to hear more about what it is that you're looking for and, and see if we're a good fit.

Lisa

And this is Lisa. If you are interested in working with me, if you go to leadthroughstrengths.com, on the main navigation, you'll see a link called Get Coached.

And you can just book a single session straight away from there. And also, if you're interested in just looking at different coaches and what their styles might be at leadthroughstrengths.com slash about, you'll see some of the coaches t