018: Why Struggle is Not Weakness with Kate Fagan, What Made Maddy Run

Show Summary

In this episode we’re talking with Kate Fagan, author of the book, What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen.

We unpack the themes of perfectionism, the effects of social media on our brains, difficult transitions, and mental health. And we explore how healthy is driving satisfaction from activities and engagement not dependent on outside validation.

Detailed show notes & resources available at realfoodwholelife.com/feelgoodeffect

 

Key Takeaways

Madison Holleran’s story.

Unpacking the themes of perfectionism, the effects of social media on our brains, difficult transitions, and mental health.

How we seem to need one box for everything and how that can be problematic in talking about mental health.

How filters played a role in Maddy’s life, and how they may be playing a role in all of our lives.

How much photographic information we are consuming and the possible impact on our brains.

The inability to see that everyone else’s social feeds were filtered, too.

The problem with filtering in and filtering out.

Social isolation and social media.

The difference between connectivity and true social connection.

The ways that the digital medium can cloud a real emotional state.

Real conversations are messy and lack control vs. digital interactions.

Connecting one human to another is asking follow up questions and staying in the relationship through the hard questions.

If you think you are alone in your feelings it may be difficult to share your experience and ask for help.

The transition to college and the challenges this experience can bring.

“I know I’m supposed to feel like the lucky chosen few, but all I feel is overwhelm.” This can be a really difficult mental battle.

The risk of “I should be feeling.”

Struggle is not weakness.

“When the hurdle you are supposed to clear is actually a brick wall, you’re not going to get to the other side, you’re going to actually hurt yourself in trying to push through.”

The problem with perfectionism.

“Notice how close perfection is to despair.”

Why checking boxes and achieving will never be enough when it’s in the absence of true joy, knowing who you are and what makes you happy.

“I’ve been at the bottom and I’ve been at the top and I know I won’t find peace in either.” -Aaron Rogers

Finding joy and peace with things that have nothing to do with external validation.

Healthy is driving a majority percentage of satisfaction from activities and engagement not dependent on outside validation.

Show Resources

What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen

The Fine Art of Being Imperfect

Two Write Love on Her Arms

Crisis Text Line

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Guest Info

Website: bykatefagan.com

Instagram: @katefagan3

Podcast: Free Cookies

 

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