An Open Letter to My Ex-Husband

Dear _______,

Our marriage served a purpose and was not wasted even though it did not last. We had three little ones who are light and joy and gifts to this world. They have your terrific sense of humor, your working hands, and your kind heart.

You knew that dark, rainy afternoon that you could not be the father they need. That I had found someone who could love them and care for them in a way that your addiction would not let you. You let them go out of pure love. And when you shook that man's hand outside and thanked him for adopting your blood, that was the most selfless, loving act of kindness.

You are not defined by the mistakes you’ve made.

In that moment, the man God created you to be was overpowering the man that addiction is trying to make you become.

I am no better than you because I don't struggle with addiction. We are both doing the best we can and making mistakes along the way.

You were given an unfair disadvantage. A predisposition. Why you? Why did our family have to break apart because of this disease?

I don't know, but one day I will get to ask God. And until then, I will work. I will work to help heal the suffering that addiction causes. To educate women and teach them that we’re not powerless over this disease.

I could not save you from your disease, but I will spend my life working to make it purposeful.

We love you - from a distance, where it's safe. Because this disease is a nasty battle that is dangerous for young, tender hearts and minds. We will cheer you on and pray with tears and grit for your healing. But we will be outside the arena of your battle.

We know you can fight and surrender and win. You're a special gift. Your talents need to be used. You have love and knowledge to share with the world.

This is a battle for your life. Literally. Fight for it. Never give up. It might appear that we have left. That you have been abandoned. But if you listen closely, you will hear our cheers. Our deep plea for your breakthrough.

We have not given up. It has been many years and our voices of encouragement have not faded.

We love you - from a safe distance.

P.S. We thank you. I thank you. Thank you for never condemning me for my purpose. For encouraging me to tell my story. For thanking me for finding a good father for your children. We are waiting with open arms for your victory over addiction.

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