The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast
Education:Self-Improvement
384 I’ve Made Fear My Friend | January 2018 Friday Week 3
Fantastic Fridays-#375 January 19th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast
I’ve Made Fear My Friend
“If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.”
~Sun Tzu
I wrote a poem a year ago about a conversation I had with fear. I was going on a journey, and setting my sails to new shores. As my ship was leaving, I was thanking fear for being there for me. And I’ll share a bit of my poem with you:
The funny thing is negative thoughts are quite polite, as they don’t want to bother you.
They just hang on knowing you need them,
Knowing that you feed your comfort from them,
Like an old friend never letting you down as you expect them to be there when things go wrong,
Like an overbearing parent who wants to keep you grounded as they say,
“Now hunnie don’t get your hopes up. I want you to be realistic.”
They care so much they don’t want you to dream so big and be hurt,
So resentment, worry, anger, fear, bitterness, disappointment, and the such hold our hands like good friends saying, “I am here.”
Maybe…
I may want to hold on,
Just in case my dreams don’t go as planned.
But I think it’s time.
“So Fear, thank you for being here. I know you meant no harm. Thank you for helping to keep me grounded until my wings were ready to fly. Thank you for showing me the other side so I could appreciate real goodness in the world. If I hadn’t seen both sides, I might not know any different.”
It’s time to empty me,
As I’m becoming a new vessel,
Leaving the past behind while I hold onto the dreams and hopes of the present and future.
Opening my sails, it’s funny how natural it feels,
Not sure what will be ahead except for the new friends I’ve invited…
“Hope, love, excitement, appreciation, and joy thank you for joining me.”
“Oh we’ve been here waiting till you were ready.”
And a small chuckle lights up my face,
From understanding that the opposites of life aren’t so different,
It’s just a choice of focus really.
So I ask, “where are we going to first guys?”
As they reply, “Let the wind take us and see what happens. Now that you have cultivated a relationship with us, everything’s possible.”
My ship leaving the harbor as Fear shrinks.
One hand to my temple as I give a saluting wave goodbye,
Fear…I’ll see you again old friend, but not because I’ll need you, and not because I’ve shrunk from the task ahead,
But because every new challenge has that insinuation of you saying, “are you sure you don’t need me?”
And I’ll reply, “Not this time, things are different now, my eyes are fixed upon the possibilities. Thank you again, my old friend, for your patience with me—not pushing me until I was ready to be who I am.”
Now you see, Fear is not our enemy; fear is our friend. When you know what fear’s mission is, you’ll understand that it’s not about stopping you…it’s about trying to keep you safe. Fear is the friend waiting in front of a tall wall. And depending on how you view that friend, that friend could be the person that stops you telling you that it’s too high and you could never climb it, or you can see fear as the friend who’s there to help boost you over the wall.
We can decide to be bitter about what fear has done to us, or we can be excited knowing that fear has no ulterior motive. In the end, fear didn’t coerce us into doing anything—we decided to see the fear as fierce or friendly. Fear is a compass telling us that what it’s pointing towards is something that’s important to us. If something wasn’t important we wouldn’t be afraid of going towards it, and we wouldn’t be afraid of failing. You see, we’ve gotten mixed up thinking that fear and excitement are two different things.
However, there’s very little physiological difference between fear and excitement…meaning the body does almost the exact same thing for both those emotions. The hypothalamus, which controls the body’s stress response, will tell the body to elevate your heart rate and breathing, to dilate your pupils, and increase the sweat upon your body. The physiological difference between fear and excitement is minute.
And there are simple ways to change your fear. One of the easiest ways to do that is to suggest a different response. When you’re feeling fear, just saying, “I am actually excited,” changes the way you feel. And that’s what we’re doing with affirmations, we’re suggesting to our brains and bodies to operate on a more efficient level—to see a better path. It’s not that we’re lying to ourselves, but that we’re choosing the best path.
And thinking this way always reminds me of the quote Robert Kennedy said, “There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”
So, what if the times that you were afraid to start working on that business that you’ve always dreamed of…instead of saying why you can’t, or focusing on the fear why it might not work, what if you were to find the excitement in why you should? What if that the next time you wanted to ask someone out, instead of saying they might say no, you ask yourself what if they say yes to a cup of coffee…who knows I might make a friend out of this if nothing else. What if the next time you felt fear you asked yourself why you were feeling it, and instead of avoiding decided to move towards it?
Maybe you can be like the person in my poem, setting your sights on new possibilities, ready to set sail to new adventures, and saying goodbye to fear. Not because you hate him, but because with old friends you have to part ways at times…fully knowing you will cross paths again. Fear isn’t your enemy…fear is your friend…reminding you what is important. So instead of seeing fear as fierce, what if you were to see it disguised as excitement?
Today’s Personal Commitment:
After hearing today’s podcast, how can you view fear differently? Could you see it less as a deterrent and as more of a compass by letting you know what’s important to you? Now I know that every fear may not be an indicator for you to go towards, like some people would be afraid of speaking in front of an audience, and maybe it’s not their mission to ever do that. So instead of getting in autopilot and turning the other way when you feel fear…what if you were to pause and analyze it, what if you were to look fear in the eyes and see what it was all about?
Being mindful is a full-time commitment, but it’s worth it. So, maybe every night before you go to bed take out your journal and write down what happened in your day. Ask yourself if you walked towards your fears to better understanding them, or did you walk away from them that day? Each day is about balance. Some days we’ll be on fire, and other days we might be total wimps. But that’s ok; it’s not about judging yourself, it’s about becoming aware and asking what you’d like to different, if anything, next time…and then planning on how to follow through tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that.
I’ve Made Fear My Friend
Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn
Contact info- email: chris@strongwithin.com phone:865-219-3247
Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
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