The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast
Education:Self-Improvement
395 Kindness Is My Truth | January 2018 Tuesday Week 5
Tag Me Tuesdays-#395 January 30th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast
Kindness Is My Truth
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”
~Dalai Lama
I believe the lessons in life are patterns that keep popping up until we notice them and find a way to confront them. One of the truths that keeps happening in my life is to speak up when it would be easier to be quiet. When it would be easier not to cause conflict, and for both parties to go their separate ways unchanged. And while that path may be the easiest one, it’s not the path that I want to take. I don’t want to be unchanged. I want to be changed by confronting the patterns that the Universe keeps reminding me of. I want to be changed by living a certain truth.
And so that truth for me, means speaking when it’s uncomfortable. That truth means sticking up for things and people in certain manners when I feel it’s appropriate. And the reason I say appropriate, is because I don’t want to be a person who seems like he knows it all, or that I’m trying to force people to think and be a certain way. As I know sometimes correcting people, can be a thinly veiled scheme at controlling people. And so I work to check myself and my ego, to ask why am I doing something. I work to hopefully help others, and myself at times, to be aware of behaviors that are harmful to self and others.
My good friend Travis and I will talk about Podcasts. He listens to a bunch of them, so he’s in the know of what’s good out there. He told me about this satirical crime podcast called “Done Disappeared.” It’s a funny take on crime podcasts as the story is so ridiculous and the narrator John David Booter takes his seriousness over the top. The podcast takes place in Pennsylvania somewhere, and Travis commented, “I didn’t know there were so many southern accents in Pennsylvania.” And we laugh about how silly it’s been.
After I finished all nine episodes of this ridiculously funny podcast, I wanted to leave it a rating and review. When something makes a difference in my day, I want to let the creator know that I appreciate the work they put into their craft. And with podcasts the more reviews and ratings they get, the higher their ranking for people to find that podcast easier, so I want to help them out in that way.
As I went to give a review, I got distracted looking at the other reviews for the Done Disappeared podcast. And one person had given this podcast a scathing review saying it was the most idiotic, ignorant, and other expletive words about how horrible it was and that you shouldn’t waste your time. They talked about how they loved crime podcasts, and they were so upset that 10 minutes of their life had been wasted since they had to listen to the end of the episode to realize that it was all a hoax and it wasn’t a real crime investigation.
One thing you have to realize about this podcast is everything is fake, and a satirical play on crime podcasts. Even the ads are fake, and if you listen closely it’s pretty hilarious as he is always giving 100% of everything away for putting in his Podcast code Done Disappeared.
After I read the scathing review, I saw that there were other replies to this comment. And these replies told this person that the podcast was a satire, it was a joke, and that they should have a sense of humor and lighten up.
And usually, I know nothing good can come from getting into an argument on the internet with a message board setting. But for some reason I felt I had to say something. So either it was the stupidity in me listening to my ego and saying let’s start a fight, or it was my intuition saying I had to speak my truth and stick up for this podcaster.
And so I tried to tread carefully, as it wasn’t my mission to destroy this person and make them feel bad, but it was my hope that I could help them see that just because you didn’t like something doesn’t mean you have to tear it apart. And so I went on to say that the whole purpose of the podcast was meant to be idiotic, it’s true purpose was to make light of the seriousness of the crime podcasts in a fun way, and that’s what made the podcast brilliant—it did exactly what it was meaning to do. I continued to say, that if you listened closely to the podcast you could tell within the first 30 seconds that there was something off about the crazy stuff he was saying.
I’m laughing about it now as in his intro he would say, “My name, is John David Booter. I’m not a podcaster; I’m a filmmaker. I’ve never made a podcast…but I’ve also never made a film.” As this eerie music plays in the background…all while he pauses perfectly when he speaks.
And so I finished off my comment by saying that sometimes we will hate something because we didn’t understand the purpose of the podcast, and maybe the reason we hated it wasn’t because it was bad, but because we expected something else and felt duped when realizing it was something different. And I then I asked, why must we tear something down negatively to give a review of something?
I hit publish, with an anxious heart, questioning whether I should have written that comment at all. I knew I didn’t want to be harsh in my message, so I hope my kindness came across, but I also didn’t want to get into a no-win battle where it’s back and forth arguing… but I felt I needed to stick up for this podcaster and say what I did, and so I left it at that.
And maybe an hour or so later I got a message letting me know that the reviewer I commented on had commented back. And I was floored by what they said. I thought they were going to tear me a new one and that I should mind my own business…but instead, this person said, “Chris, it really did take me til the end of the episode to figure out it was a parody…it was just my opinion…sorry I’m so stupid.”
And I felt horrible, because I didn’t want this person to feel bad. I just wanted to open their eyes to how harsh they sounded in tearing apart this person’s work. And so I responded back saying, “don’t ever say that you’re stupid, you aren’t stupid. You just were expecting something different.” I said some more things, and the end of my reply, I said this, “I am a creator. I do my own podcast and so I know it can be hard when someone tears apart something you’ve put your hard work into. I know I’m not perfect myself, and I am not judging anyone for their opinion, I have as much work as anyone else in being kind to others as well.”
And the reviewer sent one more comment back to me that said that they were an artist and musician themselves, and they hadn’t thought about what they did—that they would have been upset if someone talked about their work in the exact manner that they had done in their review.
The point I’m hoping to make is that in our criticisms…are we kind when we do it? In our thoughts and words towards others are we speaking a higher truth, one of kindness and compassion in helping someone create something better, or are we just tearing it down?
And this is what was so amazing about that interaction, even though I felt uncomfortable in saying something, and I was questioning whether I should, my intuition was telling me that I should do something, that I should say something. And by doing it, I actually changed this person. And I think the reason I speak when my intuition is telling me so, is not to correct people all the time, but it’s also for me, to remind myself in how I want to be. And hopefully to put that out into the world, so when I’m out of alignment that people will have the courage to speak a truth and a kindness to me in helping me get back on track and be in alignment with my highest self.
Everyone can be a critic, anyone can tear something down, but it takes work to create something, it takes work to give constructive criticism and advice. I think about people who tear things down as my 8th grade counterparts giving their opinion in a book report on a book they didn’t like.
Here’s a reenactment:
Teacher: “Now little Johnny let’s hear your book report on War and Peace.”
Johnny: “This book was a waste of time.”
Teacher: “What didn’t you like about it?”
Johnny: “It was dumb, I hated it.”
Teacher: “Why did you hate it?”
Johnny: I don’t know I just didn’t like it.”
The point I am trying to make is that we feel we have the right to tear things apart, which I’m not saying we can’t, but anyone can talk about how bad something is. It doesn’t take high intellect to speak that way. And we don’t become better individuals by doing this. It dampens our intelligence. And sometimes it’s not about tearing something apart, but rather in understanding that it wasn’t our cup of tea. It might have been for a less advanced mind, or a more advanced mind, or someone who appreciates silly humor or dry humor…but you get my point.
And I know that wasn’t an accurate representation of your 8th-grade class, since you didn’t read War and Peace. I know you guys read it in 3rd grade since I have such super geniuses listening to my podcast. Maybe that should be my marketing tagline for the podcast. The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast—meant only for the super geniuses of the world.
What do you think, is that a winner?
But back to my point, everyone can be a critic, but it’s hard to create something and to continue creating through all the self-doubt as it is already. Maybe if we encouraged people more, they would get better at their craft instead of quitting. Maybe if we stopped ourselves from writing a harsh review and talked about the good things we liked and suggested ideas for the things that could be worked on, we might just change that person’s life—who knows how this person might grow because of that. I like to think we might be helping make this world a better place by being an encourager rather than a demolisher. And I believe that our kindness will change everything.
For some of you who’ve been following me for awhile, you know I’ve been writing a book. And I have someone looking over it right now to help me edit it as I had to cut ties with my old editor. But when I give my work to someone I ask them to be as honest as possible. I want them to let me know what they like and what they don’t like. I ask them to let me know what rubs you the wrong way, what resonates with you, what’s missing, or what’s too much. I want to know your honest opinion, in a loving manner of course, so I can make it better.
Now this whole podcast wasn’t to get you to only think about ratings and reviews of things…it’s about asking how we speak our truths. It’s about asking how kind we are to people’s souls. It’s about taking a moment to craft your message in a loving manner rather than react out of anger or urgency. Anger doesn’t take any thought, and they say the initial seconds of anger are reactions, but after that then it’s a choice to stay angry.
So will you speak a higher truth, will you work to bring more kindness in the world to change everything…or will you be like little Johnny adding more useless criticism that brings no value into the world? Let us be the change we want to see in the world by being not only kind to ourselves in how we think and speak, but let us do that to everyone else as well. Your kindness, your truth, can and will change the world.
Today’s Personal Commitment:
Ok shameless plug here, but if you haven’t gone and rated and reviewed my podcast, and you find you’re getting something from it, then go and do it already…dang it. I hope you got my facetious snarkiness there, my great friend Suzanne has been adding to my humor arsenal. I still have a long way to go though.
So go to iTunes, or the podcast place you’re listening from and leave me a rating and review. And I hope you won’t tear me apart in your review…but I want to hear your thoughts and ideas. It gets hard thinking of new ideas every day, so I’d love to hear the way you’ve become Strong Within in your life. And if you feel like sharing your story, but not in public on a review, send an email to chris@strongwithin.com and tell me your Strong Within story. I’m looking forward to hearing from you. I need great stories to share, and I’d love to feature some of you guys in the podcast…with your permission of course. The more reviews and ratings I get then the more people I can reach, so thank you.
And so let me leave you with a great quote to help you with your moment of kindness zen:
“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”
~Og Mandino
Kindness Is My Truth
Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn
Contact info- email: chris@strongwithin.com phone:865-219-3247
Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
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