The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast
Education:Self-Improvement
431 I Want Everyone To Win March 2018 Wednesday Week 2
Wisdom Wednesdays-#431 March The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast
I Want Everyone To Win
“Champions are not the ones who always win races - champions are the ones who get out there and try. And try harder the next time. And even harder the next time. 'Champion' is a state of mind. They are devoted. They compete to best themselves as much if not more than they compete to best others. Champions are not just athletes.”
~Simon Sinek
I played ice hockey for a good portion of my younger life, and I’m glad I did it because it kept me directed. It’s what guided me to get good grades in high school so I could play somewhere in college. It kept me busy, so I wasn’t hanging out with my friends who were out doing drugs or causing trouble. It wasn’t that I hung out with bad kids, I hung out with kids who were different, and they seemed to gravitate towards things that were more risky…but hockey always kept me walking the line I wanted to walk—the line of reaching my goal of being a better player and being able to play somewhere in a college setting.
The reason I bring that story up now, is because I don’t play hockey anymore. Sure, they have men’s leagues that I’ve played in after I was done playing in college, but I don’t feel like I fit in there anymore. I don’t watch sports that much anymore as it doesn’t excite me like it used to. And not saying anything good or bad about sports…I just got to a point where I was tired of it being all about winning or losing based upon points.
After I was done playing competitively in college, I went to play in men’s leagues to keep in shape and to continue the fun I used to have when I played as a kid…but I struggled to have fun. All my teammates seem to only focus on winning. If we were down a point or two, it was, “come on guys we got to get a goal so we can win.” But it just got so tiring trying to win a game by beating people on the scoreboard alone. And sure I get the aspect of wanting to win to feel good about your efforts, to have a way to gauge what you did was good enough; but we’ve become a society less about doing our best, and more about beating other people. We’ve become so unaware that our focus is on making sure we defeat someone, so they won’t take what we have deemed as ours.
I grew up respecting a coach named John Wooden. He coached most of his career for the UCLA basketball team. In his 29-year college head coaching career, held a record of 664 wins -162 losses. Which means that every 10 games that his team played they only lost 2. And during his tenure he won 10 national championships.
The very first thing he taught his players when they came to play for him was how to tie their shoes. Which sounds silly, but he wanted them to protect themselves in the most basic way that might get overlooked because in the sport of basketball if you aren’t taking care of your feet, you’ll be more likely to get hurt and not be able to play.
He was said to keep notes on every single practice he was ever a part of. He had tons of notebooks from writing notes during EVERY practice. He had an immense focus on his player's success as he preached school was more important than the game.
The only reason I brought up CoachWooden’s win percentage and accolades was to show how successful he was in what people would call winning. But Coach Wooden didn’t focus on winning. All of his players would talk about how he never talked about winning once. He talked about being your best no matter who you were playing.
And growing up playing sports, I always was told to play your best and that it wasn’t about winning…but I didn’t know what that meant, and I think even the people who told me really hadn’t thought about what it meant. Sure I knew the idea behind it, but I didn’t fully understand it. I still struggle with understanding it. We as humans have been conditioned to win…and I think it’s great to do your best to go out and get what you deserve, but I think we’ve gotten ideas confused We have tried to be our best to beat people or win the game by the score instead of doing our best to win the game within ourselves. Because the only real opponent is not someone else, it’s ourselves.
And that’s where I’ve have been confused, and I think a lot of us get lost in the pursuit in the illusion of winning. We have made winning more about claiming something so someone doesn’t take it from us. We want that job instead of Joe having it because we believe we deserve it more than he does, we want that partner in our lives over another person because we think we deserve them in our lives, we want all those monetary goals because it will make us look more successful. And so it’s more about winning instead of being aligned with what’s right for ourselves.
I spent so many years judging my life on my wins rather than feeling good about giving my best. And so I built up my esteem based on how well I was defeating others in the games before me, rather than focusing on building myself up in giving my all…all of the time.
I don’t have all the answers to helping you be happier, but I know I’ve found peace in wanting everyone to win. I know the universe is ever abundant to give us all we want and need, but I think most of us can get into a scarcity mindset and allow that to control us. We don’t want things taken from us, so we will try to take everything we can just in case we might miss out on something. Which keeps us from being aligned with what’s most right for us; you can’t be where you need to be if you’re trying to gain things that aren’t meant for you. And so we win just for the sake of winning something, we try to take other things away from people so they can’t take them away from us first.
I know in my life I’ve struggle with making the right choices. I’ve asked this question hundreds if not thousands of times “what if I made the wrong choice and ruined the rest of my life by missing out on something?” Take for example romantic partners or romantic interests in my life. I get upset when people leave me; I ruminate and question did I make a mistake, or what could I have done better? As I play this endless game of thoughts in my mind of…what if?
Which fear then began controlling my life; the fear of questioning what if that was the one, what if I lost out. What if that new person they’re seeing is better than me and I could never compare. And so the jealousy and hurt would boil up. And so then I turn my attention to being mad at the person I was interested in for rejecting me and jealousy for the other person who took my love interest away.
But when I live thinking that way, it only hurts me and my future. I want people to be successful in the places in life that they deserve to be in…and so I have to step back and really take a look at what I want. Do I want someone who doesn’t want to be with me be in my life because I’m upset? No. I want their happiness, and I want them to be with the person they deserve to be with…just like I want to be with who I deserve to be with. I don’t want to think ill of anyone, I don’t want people to fail because I am hurt, I don’t want other people’s misery and hurt because I’m upset. And so I want everyone to win. I want people to be where they are meant to be…and I want that for myself as well.
It’s a daily reminder to focus on what’s more important. As I work to make a conscious decision to ask myself, “is winning more important, or is doing my best the most important?” And doing my best means thinking good thoughts about myself and others. It’s about taking actions that align with my goals; not trying to stop people from taking from me. It’s about loving the struggle and the growth with immense gratitude and appreciation along the way, and it’s the continual act of wishing, praying, and hoping for everyone to win…because when we all win…I win too.
So let us let go of the notion of having to win at all costs, and let us hold onto the idea of doing our best in mind, body, emotions, and spirit. Let us not try to win things out of fear of someone taking it from us, but let us hope for the best in people and for people, as we work towards being our best. And when you do this, I know you will find yourself not worried about things being taken from you because you are too busy being aligned up with things you are meant for.
Today’s Personal Commitment:
What does winning mean to you? Is it about the final score, or is it about you leaving everything on the table?
I think to be more successful in life, to target and hone in on what truly matters, starts with redefining what success means to us. I think it’s about taking down the notches, or the scoreboard, and looking at our effort meter. It's about asking ourselves, “did I put it all on the line because I wanted something better from myself?”
Fear can be a great hindrance in us not giving our all, so I am going to challenge you not to let fear dictate your win or loss column, but to have it be a directive in showing you what’s important to you.
The things that matter are scary because there’s something important on the line. But today, let us redefine what winning means and look less to beat other people…and more in doing our best in all we do. And when you do that, you’ll find yourself attaining the things that are meant for you. You’ll find yourself relinquishing the fear of missing out on yours, as you allow the things that are meant for others to be attained by those people. You are not missing out by taking what isn’t meant for you, you will find clarity, focus, and success in putting your efforts in being your best to achieve what you truly wish for your life…instead of trying to take something that is meant for someone else.
So how will you keep your eyes focused on giving your best to win in your life, instead of living in fear and constantly trying to one up others? That’s no way to live. So let us choose to live differently and look at winning differently.
So let us live by these mantras—
I Celebrate Everyone’s Wins I Am Excited By Everyone’s Happiness When we all win, I win too.
I know this may be repeating what I said but this was the original idea I wrote when I first started brainstorming this podcast and I felt I wanted to share the original idea. It felt right on my heart to add it in, even if I am repeating myself…because I know I most of all need to be reminded of this every day…and I hope ti will help you out too.
Don’t wish ill will on people when they wrong you, you want the best for them…because when you do that you want the best for yourself. When you invest in other people’s win…you invest in people. And when you invest in people you can never go wrong because you are taking the time to get to the heart of things. You are wanting greatness for everyone, and what you put out into the world is what will be returned to you. But you aren’t doing it only for yourself to win. You are doing it so everyone can win…and what that will do is bring happiness to you.
I Want Everyone To Win
Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn
Contact info- email: chris@strongwithin.com phone:865-219-3247
Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide
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