E61: Dating in a Digital Age - A New Way to Network and Connect with Carmelia Ray

Carmelia Ray is an internationally acclaimed matchmaker for high achieving men and the quality women they’re searching for. She’s also a renowned TV personality from Mom Vs. Matchmaker, The Real Housewives Of Toronto, and A User’s Guide to Cheating Death (Fall 2018).  She's also won the 2018 Best Dating Coach award!

 

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Episode Overview:

When you are going toward networking, you need to know what it is that you are looking for in order to create that network professional connection.

The connection between networking and dating The tactical nature on what to do to create an actual experience What kind of experience do you want people to have? What is it about you? What is your story? What is it that you are looking for?

Listen to Carmelia Ray’s episode 32 Experience Digital Dating on Another Level with Carmelia Ray of WooYou App

The challenges of making a connection digitally instead of face-to-face and how these two experiences differentiate:

Digital Dating:

Putting yourself online like a dating site for example makes you feel overwhelmed. A lot of people feel that when they are online, it is daunting because there are so much to choose from. There is a lot of noise and responses online and a lot of action.

How one represent themselves and how to interpret someone else's profile. Most people that go online do not do a great job of putting themselves online. Some are representing themselves a little less or even too much in their profiles. Engagement. What do you say to someone online? How do you get from sending messages to asking someone out.

Offline:

One of the many challenges for many people is where can they meet people where in fact, it used to be meeting traditional way such as meeting in a bar, the church, family gatherings and others. Today, most people are meeting on a digital aspects or by chance. The only thing that you really know about a person when you meet them is that when you are attracted. There is a big investment when finding stuff out about a person. The Ghosting. When people go into disappearing act.

Today, more people are looking down rather than looking up.

In networking, people tend to get overwhelmed when they go to conferences or places that they just don’t know where to start.

 

Tips on making a good intro about yourself:

 

People often gravitates to people when they tell a story about themselves rather than reading a list of things that are good at and are capable of. For sales and marketing companies, they focus on their tagline where they really put their thoughts into their brand. This will be based on the experiences that they want people to see, what is the feel that they wanted to get about and what are the core profiles that they want people to feel.

A lot of times, when people go online, they are focusing on the person whom they want to attract and who they wanted to be to attract that person.

When writing a good intro, you should always start with the “about you” in story form. Always write what you are attracted to and what you are looking for instead of writing the things that you don’t like. Write a description of what your life is like. Something that would say that the person that you are targeting to is a part of your profile intro.

 

Tips on body language and how to carry yourself:

 

The key is really to relax and it can only happen through time and practice. If you don’t have enough practice or do not put yourself on the line enough then it is going to be scary, nerve wracking and all those things. Confidence only comes out on both your presence in person and how you appear in your clothing because 55% of communication is nonverbal.

Body language also includes eye contact. The best move that you can do to make a good impression. Make sure to look at the person that you are speaking to and keep your phones away.

Here is a list of things that you should pay attention to:

Eye contact Good posture Hygiene You don’t have to invest a ton of money to look a certain way. Dress for success but dress comfortably.

When you are more concerned about how you look like, you are not able to be with the person who is in front of you because you are more concerned about yourself.

 

Conversation Ice Breaker Tips:

 

Apart of the confidence and nervousness is the already have in your mind is the intention of what you want to discover about someone. Being curiously engage with the person in front of you without an agenda.

If you have something passionate about or have great stories to tell, then tell that person that you are talking to and keep things positive. Sharing your positive experiences make the person you are talking to more interested in you because nobody will spend their valuable time listening to your problem.

People are really attracted to someone who is going somewhere who has their own paths, has their own trends and who is trying to figure the things out of what is missing in their career or personal life.

 

How Do You Leave the Date and How Do You Follow Up

 

There are a lot of people who leave the date not knowing what to expect. Often times, people can be one way and really mean another and that makes a confusing king of date or meeting. And depending on the way you met each other, there is a way to follow up and know if there is an actual chemistry.

Another point to know is that you should always be okay to accept a rejection from the person you met at the end even though you put yourself out there. If you are dating with intention, you should make that clear before you leave.

If you are interested in someone, you are leaning in and getting closer.

 

Tips for Coaches and Matchmakers:

 

The first match you make is with your matchmaker or with your dating coach.

Do your homework and understand which niche does your coaching or matchmaking career looks like and the services that you wanted to provide. Understand what you want to accomplish Talk to at least 2 to 3 people who wanted to work with you based on the set of criteria that they wanted to accomplish.

 

Connect with Carmelia:

Website: CarmeliaRa.com

Twitter: @CarmeliaRay

LinkedIn: Carmelia Ray

Instagram: @carmeliaray