HUMAN CONNECTION: Assumed Understanding

The words “I understand” are used frequently in intimate relationships. But it’s worth considering whether you really do understand before you tell your partner that you do. Instead of saying “I understand”, try this: repeat back what the other person has told you, in your own words, and then ask them if you’ve got it right. Accept that you have not understood them unless they feel that you have. And it works both ways. If you don’t feel that you’ve been understood, you can gently say “I don’t think you understand me — can you tell me what you think I’m saying?” Cultivating open communication and the freedom for each person to speak until they know they’ve been heard will maintain curiosity, humility and love within your relationship.