Taking the Journey of Grief - Step 8

New and normal are words that do not belong together. But that is precisely what step eight is all about, establishing a new normal. For most of us, at this stage in our journey, we still do not want a new normal. The residual grief in our heart still longs for the old normal. If this conflict exists within you, do not let it pull you backwards on your journey. It is not hypocritical to pursue a new normal against your heart’s desire when reality insists that you must.

Even if you are optimistic about this new normal, a new normal is scary. It is unknown. It is relatively permanent. It soon will be the part of your life that occurs without thought or reflection. The disruption of this new normal will be what triggers your next pilgrimage through grief. If you are intimidated by this step, do not let that convince you that you have not completed the prior steps adequately.

The phrase “new normal” seems to imply more intentionality than it actually requires. You do not need a spreadsheet with seven columns and twenty-four rows to itemize and color-code what your expectations of life will be by activity, relationship, and season. As you grieve well and clean, a new normal will happen. A big part of this chapter will be devoted to identifying the defining marks of this new normal so you can be comforted as this occurs.

The chapter will also include two other sections. First, we will look at how this new normal assimilates into your life story. This will be a place for you to summarize what you learned and how you have grown over the course of this study.

Second, guidance will be provided to help you think through how to prepare to transition from your current Freedom Group, counseling relationship, or mentor relationship into general small group ministry of the church for continued encouragement and growth. You are about to enter a new season of transition: from healing to living. These materials are meant to provide guidance on what “healthy” looks like after grief.

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