#19 Loosing Someone you Love, Grief and Inviting your Ancestors to Breath with you in Meditation

In this episode Lotte shares about a event that changed her life: she lost he father in a motor accident when she was 19 years old. Perhaps it's no coincidence that this is the 19th episode. Lotte explains how life as she knew it fell apart, what emotions she experienced and how grief eventually did let go.  She also shares about moments she feels connected to her dad Dennis. and the one time that a medium helped her to be in touch with him.

Let this episode be your friend that guides you to a place of connection with your own ancestors - using a calming meditation (18.00m).

Lotte on the 1st of July 2019:

"Today 10 years ago I received a phone call that would forever change my life.

It was mom calling from the hospital - Dad had a motor accident and was in critical state and I had to get there soon. For the first time in my life I hyperventilated. This was not good. 

A hour later we received the news that my dad had no brain activity any more. He was at the intensive care - a machine kept him alive but he could not hear, see or feel us being around him. He had no pain but there was no future left for him.

Because my parents got divorced and my dad didn’t have a donor registration, it was up to me (19) and my brothers (17 and 14) to decide what would happen with his organs. Those are not questions crying teenagers should be answering in the middle of the night.  

We were left with a loss you cannot imagine, endless tears, a dog, two businesses, a huge house with even bigger mortgage and so the list continued.  Some moments I remember vividly while other memories are blurry or even disappeared.  What I do remember is so much pain and sadness. At times I thought my life was over too. This was so unexpected, my dad was the strongest man I knew.

I cannot believe that it’s been 10 years now. There are days that I even forget to think of him. In the beginning that made me feel so miserable but now I know that it’s okay. One day I would love to be in contact with him and I know I will but I have to find a way. If you are reading this and you feel it in your heart, and you are able to be that medium, I would appreciate it so much if yo would reach out. .

What I do know is that without going through this pain, anger, fear, grief an thousand more stages, feelings and emotions I would not have been where I am today. I am 29 and feel so blessed to help others heal and open their hearts. 

Without my dad or ironically, without my dad passing, I would not have achieved half of what I did. He is not just a memory, he is my teacher and spirit daddy. Always. And today I honor him and thank him for all the lessons."

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