Episode 189: The 6 clouds you’ll meet in the MQ

It’s cloud magic time! We go over the evolution of the IaaS Gartner Magic Quadrant, or whatever it’s called now. Plus, is it so hard to do do enterprise sales? (Yes.) And too much commentary on umlauts, ASCII, and Munich bike bells. Mood board: CI/CD is this podcast’s VDI. “Dude, I’ll read.” It’s hot here. Did those clothing-optional vegan hippies invite themselves over to your room a lot? Ruled by actuarial tables I need to look up what constitutes a swamp Google cloud is people. You can’t put the math back in the box. Cee-star-o. Bad things are bad. You can be a low-value target and I’ll still draw a funny picture in your book. Buy Coté’s book dirt cheap (https://leanpub.com/digitalwtf/c/sdt)! And check out his other book that this guy likes (https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6559881947412340736/). Relevant to your interests Google Cloud gains in Gartner's 2019 cloud infrastructure Magic Quadrant (https://www.zdnet.com/article/google-cloud-gains-in-gartners-2019-cloud-infrastructure-magic-quadrant/) Microsoft Hits Record High as Cloud Revenues Drive Q4 Earnings Beat (https://www.thestreet.com/investing/stocks/microsoft-poised-for-record-high-as-cloud-revenues-drive-q4-earnings-beat-15025315). Also, one analyst estimates that their cloud revenue now matches on-premises. Equifax to Pay at Least $650 Million in Largest Data-Breach Settlement Ever (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/22/business/equifax-settlement.html) Kazakhstan’s internet crackdown shows the world wide web is becoming less worldwide (https://thehustle.co/Kazakhstan-internet-state-surveillance/) Related, US Attorney General wants backdoors (https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/07/23/us_encryption_backdoor/), but just for “not nukes.” CircleCI closes $56M Series D investment as market for continuous delivery expands (https://techcrunch.com/2019/07/23/circleci-closes-56m-series-d-investment-as-market-for-continuous-delivery-expands) Why are large companies so difficult to rescue (regarding bad internal technology) (http://www.smashcompany.com/business/why-are-large-companies-so-difficult-to-rescue-regarding-bad-internal-technology). Nonsense 230 New Emojis in Final List for 2019 (https://blog.emojipedia.org/230-new-emojis-in-final-list-for-2019/) Sponsors Solarwinds To learn more or to try SolarWinds Papertrail for free, go to papertrailapp.com/sdt (http://papertrailapp.com/sdt) and make troubleshooting fun. TrackJS TrackJS is an engineer-owned cloud service that gives you visibility to client-side issues. Try it free at TrackJS.com/sdt (http://trackjs.com/sdt). Conferences, et. al. ALERT! DevOpsDays Discount - DevOpsDays MSP (https://www.devopsdays.org/events/2019-minneapolis/welcome/), August 6th to 7th, $50 off with the code SDT2019 (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/devopsdays-minneapolis-2019-tickets-51444848928?discount=SDT2019). 2019, a city near you: The 2019 SpringOne Tours are posted (http://springonetour.io/). Coté will be speaking at many of these, hopefully all the ones in EMEA. They’re free and all about programming and DevOps things. Cloud Expo Asia (https://www.cloudexpoasia.com/) Singapore, Oct 9th and 10th DevOpsDays Sydney 2019 (http://devopsdays.org/events/2019-sydney/), October 10th and 11th SDT news & hype Join us in Slack (http://www.softwaredefinedtalk.com/slack). Send your postal address to stickers@softwaredefinedtalk.com (mailto:stickers@softwaredefinedtalk.com) and we will send you free laptop stickers! Follow us on Twitter (https://twitter.com/softwaredeftalk), Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/softwaredefinedtalk/) or LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/software-defined-talk/) Listen to the Software Defined Interviews Podcast (https://www.softwaredefinedinterviews.com/). Check out the back catalog (http://cote.coffee/howtotech/). Brandon built the Quick Concall iPhone App (https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/quick-concall/id1399948033?mt=8) and he wants you to buy it for $0.99. Use the code SDT to get $20 off Coté’s book, (https://leanpub.com/digitalwtf/c/sdt) Digital WTF (https://leanpub.com/digitalwtf/c/sdt), so $5 total. Recommendations Brandon: Prometheus (https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/prometheus_2012) (The Movie). Matt: Apollo: Atmospheres & Soundtracks – Extended Edition (https://brianeno.lnk.to/ApolloExtendedTW); https://pinfinder.net/ Coté: Pee-wee's Big Holiday (https://www.netflix.com/title/80031800). Ballon scene (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOwUvn2l0MM). Laundry books (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6476913-the-atrocity-archives) are good. Outro: Nelson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P2JWGTMybU).