Feeling friendless? Here's three possible reasons why, and what you can do about it:
1. You are in the process of building your support squad; it's under construction.
Creating close and lasting friendships takes time and some effort, and possibly some trial and error as you get to know people. Relationships generally start as "pennies," and might switch to "nickel" or "dime" status after some time. Remember that all "tiers" or circles of friends (see episode 69, "Building Your Support Squad") are still valuable and serve a purpose, even if they aren't your #1 go-to people. We can love and appreciate and enjoy all versions of friends.
2. You are staying in a comfortable "status quo."
It's much easier to stay looping in the experiences that we are habituated to, than to shift and try something new. If we are overly comfortable in our state of loneliness or don't extend ourselves to others, we likely won't find ourselves connecting with people. Changing our status quo takes some effort and vulnerability, which doesn't necessarily feel good. It's risky and we might be rejected. However, if we aren't willing to be reach out and be seen, then we won't connect with others in a meaningful way.
3. Your unconscious beliefs about yourself and/or about others are getting in the way.
If you fear being unworthy of love and belonging, or you feel insecure, those feelings will impact the way you show up and relate to other people. One thought that we like is to believe that everyone is my friend, unless they tell me otherwise. Believing this causes a complete shift in how we operate and how we show up in our interactions.
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